instarsia

i've started back into a sembalance of a new routine.

I also changed my cell phone number due to recieving some harassing phone calls. those of you who need to know how to get ahold of me do already. the rest of you. i'm sorry.

i'm having a big steak and a baked potato for dinner. its gonna be awesome. its the simple pleasures in life i guess.

i'm still having a hard time with people.

someone i used to be close to (but fucked that up in traditional fashion) called me the other day.

at like 1 am.

he'd read my journal. he wanted to tell me to be careful who i talked to and trusted.

its a big step away from i never wanna talk to you again.

i'm still feeling disgusted with most people. hating to open up and trust anyone.

i was talking to my father about why he named me stephanie.

he was a huge lou reed fan. he loved the velvet underground.

he said the first time he hears this song he knew his first daughter if he ever had one would be named Stephanie.

he had no idea what he was doing naming me that...lol

Stephanie Says
~Velvet Underground

Stephanie says that she wants to know
Why she's given half her life, to people she hates now
Stephanie says when answering the phone
What country shall I say is calling from across the world

But she's not afraid to die, the people all call her Alaska
Between worlds so the people ask her 'cause it's all in her mind
It's all in her mind

Stephanie says that she wants to know
Why it is though she's the door She can't be the room

Stephanie says but doesn't hang up the phone
What sea shell she is calling from across the world

But she's not afraid to die, the people all cal her Alaska
Between worlds so the people ask her 'cause it's all in her mind
It's all in her mind

They're asking is it good or bad
It's such an icy feeling it's so cold in Alaska,
it's so cold in Alaska, it's so cold in Alaska


those of you who know me know why that song is oh so signifigant right now....

love you all