inept

OK, so some friends come back the other night and park in the space my neighbours use. I got this really shitty, utilitarian note barking on about how they had to use a visitor space and thanks loads for parking in their space and the usual 'have a nice day' kind of shit.

So I wrote back:

Dear tenant,


Please accept my apologies on behalf of my friends who parked their car in the parking space which you typically use and the un-necessary stress it must have caused you to park in a visitor space for a short period of time.

However, now that you have kindly raised the subject, may I draw your attention to the enclosed excerpt from my freehold purchase report for Apartment 13, Kensington place clearly outlining my ownership of the parking space which you use on a daily basis. I realise your confusion, as you are a tenant and not an owner of the property in which you occupy it will not be apparent that the original plot numbers do not match the house numbers assigned by the post office.

Due to the absence of any utilitarian traits in my kind and generous soul, I am more than happy to allow you to use my parking space for the duration of your stay at Kensington place and rest assured I will not authorise the clamping of your vehicle should you accept my kind offer.


And there I am last night, in the curry house when a mate says 'ere, come and talk to these people, they're your neighbours!'. It turns out they're officially the nicest people in the world! Plus, they totally saw the humour in the note I left them. We ended up back in their apartment 'till about 5:30 this morning drinking Steel Bottoms (white rum & Red Stripe) and then went Christmas shopping this afternoon. My only fear is that they're the Friends-esque 'My Apartment's your apartment' kind of people.


I can see a lot of benefit in being able to blame my noise on them tho'