inarus

Sometimes you wonder . Wondering why and what if There are times when you wonder no more and a choice is made. Now close your eyes and picture this. Imagine you're in a room that is quieter and darker than the expanse of the far reaches of the universe. You look around and see nothing but a distant light. What is that? Is this some sort of dream? Why has my mind taken me to this forsaken place? I feel so strange. I know that I am here but I do not have sense of anything. I feel as if I am moving towards the light, but could it be that the light is moving towards me? It is hard to make any sense of this. Though as I draw nearer to it, I can faintly see that it is a candle atop of a night stand with it rustic dark oak starring back at me. The glow around the fire is mesmerizing and I feel as if I have been seduced into a trance like state from its aura. Then out of no where a blinding flash of white light envelopes me. Now there is a slight ringing in my ears and as the light begins to subside, I have mysteriously have found myself lying on luscious green grass with its morning dew. As my vision begins to sharpen I can see the light blue sky with a bit of clouds here and there. This place looks all to familiar, but this could not be. I know that smell . It is soothing and calm . I can hear her now. Her laughter, oh, how it makes my body tingle with warmth. She laughs in such a way that it eases my pain for I can no longer bare its burden further on. I push myself to sit up and in doing so I can see a clearer picture of my surrounds. There she is. It's hazy around here but I know it is her. I stand on my to feet and walk closer but it does not matter how much I walk for it seems that I am not getting any closer. I call out to her, but in the haziness around me all that she does in return is walk away. I run, faster, faster . But still I gain no ground to get her back. Don't go! I'm sorry! I want to be a better person; I believe it is to late for me. Wait. I feel as I am getting closer. I get within a few feet and the ground beneath has given way and down I go spiraling into oblivion. How is it that I allowed this to happen? There is no turning back now, I have lost her forever. I wish that in my final moments to take it all back and make the right decisions to better what there could have been. So, now I am back in the dark. The light in my eye, with the night stand starring horribly at me.