Has there ever been a moment where you looked around, saw the sky, saw the ground, breathed in the air of life....and wondered what the fuck am I doing here. Not in the severe lapsing moments of coil blurring, life -altering drunkenness or drug induced deity touching at the rim of existence...just truly looked around at the spot you were in and on and just assessed the massings of your life. I do that almost constantly and I often find myself in the same place....alone. let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here, surely there is some other meaning to this, maybe in the existential sense of the word, right? No, in the strangest most blatant, ham fisted and clumsy use of the term. I don't have friends, and don't think that this by any means dramatic (I understand the irony, that purely by virtue of posting this for others to read with a semi exaggerated prose that that by definition is dramatic in and of itself, I digress ). The fact remains, I don't have friends. Even less so than the Facebook or Instagram friends. No one calls me, unless they want or need something, if they come by to 'visit it's literally to make them food (before you say anything, I own and operate a restaurant)...its like waking up as an extra in someone else's life. Or like a helpful annecdote at the foot of a page far more interesting.....you know what, I'm going to bed now...