ilovemikehunt

oh alex, i wish i hadn't gotten stoned in front of you.
that was horrible... it was ok tho because i was inclined to.
i can't imagine that you would scorn me for it; but i scorn myself, it felt awful.
i want to learn everything you have to teach me.
it's a lot... let me tell you.
surely, you know this already.
you're amazing.
and it's already rubbing off on me. i need more of you in my life.

why am i freaking out?
why am i hating myself?
i'm being so projectile.
he's not inclined to judge me for being at a lessor stage.
i don't think.
why would i care if he were?
i need to deal with this shit so i can move forward... it's stagnating the fuck out of me.

baruch hashem for the people in my life..
i'm so glad the positive figures outweigh the negative (who are far and few between, at this point... herbal smoking buddies.)
irony... i went over to aaron(pothead)'s house and alex just happened to be there to supply me with the stimuli which provoked this internal revolution to throw me back on track. 'god' is laffing as i weep joyfully.