Maybe they are just evolving, maybe I should take it as a sign that I am progressing, and my nightmares are just chasing me. Perhaps, this is my forward motion reflected in my fears and terrors.
For the past long while, all dreams of death and mayhem. Explosions and pain, suffering, both physically and mentally. Flashbacks presented in a... Read More
I think I'm going to take up hunting, though I'm not really a fan of shooting animals, I have an overwhelming desire to watch life pass before my eyes, by my doing.
A strong need to allow this shadow to continue and develop, to grow in a controlled environment.... Read More
I just realized that I didn't add the parts to be excited about. Guess ya'll can just stay in suspense, not that hardly anyone who reads this is actually ABLE to comment on it at all. lol
I'm glad you've found a group near you -- I think most people need this, and certainly you do. People who are all talk are, you're right, bullshit .. but sometimes when you're in need of someone in front of you, it's hard to push them away. Easier to keep giving them the benefit of the doubt. Especially if you're a nice and decent person. You just wanna believe, etc.
But regardless of how willing and even inwardly -wanting- you are, almost, to be deceived [we all have these moments -- personally, it's something I'm trying to kick myself for currently] .. people are fucking ace at it. And it's a shame. So you've got to keep inventory of these people, and .. at the risk of sounding like a misanthropic asshole, I'll stop there. But you just have to be careful.
The bottom seemed exciting enough. But. If there's more, then, shit. That's awesome.
It's gotten this bad. I don't even know what to write to myself. I'm completely losing the will to talk to ANYONE. I feel like I've reached this point again, where I'm willing to just allow myself to fall into absolutely nothing, watching as I fail at everything I have ever desired to have, tried to have. Fail at everything, anything I ever was.
Funny things happen in life. Funny things about life. The people we encounter aren't the same as the people we meet. The people we meet are not the same as the people we talk to. The people we talk to are not the same as the people we learn about. What we say is not always what we think. What we think is rarely something... Read More
