illuminatus

sometimes i feel like im so useless
like im losing what i had that made me the way i am
and yes
i am intentionally being vague
i go through certain things and start to realize that im almost living in ignorant bliss
instead of,
as i usually do,
see the truth and try to help
maybe its because i know that in the near NEAR future, i will be able to help
but i want to help RIGHT NOW
and i cant
i feel as though i cannot
i simply do what i CAN do and hope that it DOES help
to know someone you care for is still CONSTANTLY in pain
and CONSTANTLY struggling
and that i seemingly am not doing
well
anything to help......
ugh






maybe one day
both our gaurds will be down
and i can, in one moment, make a difference, that lasts a lifetime........
maybe