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sabbatical: noun:
1. an extended period of leave from ones customary routines, especially for rest, to acquire new skills, etc.
2. a time period of a length yet undetermined by me to attempt to adapt to an ever changing life, to succeed in a rapid self growth of the mind, body, and spirit.
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i have this obsession with this song recently. the part where he says "terrified child, wont you move away, you fucking tornado" his voice is just... perfect. the ways i always wished to sound, right there. maybe ill take lessons again when i get out of school


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Cast the calming apple
Up and over satellites
To draw out the timid wild...
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"im standing on the edge of inability"


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I'm in a state of despair
Nothing seems to fit my mind
And although I can't be there
I still know that there's a place for someone just like me

Will I ever wake up?
Wake up to see the box I'm in
Will I ever stand up?

I'm standing on the edge of...
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dont want to live in a dream one more day....


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

rushing through 30, getting older every day
By two, drawing pictures of innocent times
Can you add.. colour.. inside these lines?!

I want you to lead me
Take me somewhere
Dont want to live in a dream all day

I want you to lead me
Take me somewhere
Dont want to...
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chrysis:
a statement of ignorance made, hopefully, out of momentary passion. brought my memories back, made me really dig deep for what it took for me to quit my old drug addiction.

luckily though, it has brought light onto another situation i had been battling for some time. whereas i would usually just unhinge and go off, i bit my lip and kept to myself, avoiding further confrontation. definitely showing myself i have come to control my anger better than previously. ive learned to not retaliate out of temporary anger.


Correct on all accounts:

a.] The initial statement was very ignorant made in a tense situation. From an emotional place.
b.] You could have fired back and it could've snowballed and been all bad. .. but instead, you were a bigger person/
c.] As a result, everything immediately settled and nothing happened .. and I agree. It is obvious that you are growing. I apologize, and thank you for not biting back.
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"i think my brink's around the corner; theres an error in my soul."


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Some kind of evidence
Some kind of reason
Why I can't find a way
To begin my life

Somewhere in this dying day
If I can only find a way for my escape
I find it hard to concentrate with all my past mistakes

To begin my life...
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chrysis:
I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO LEAVE THAT IN YOUR BLOG.

Ahahah.

Then I woke up and couldn't remember what I wanted to say to you. :/

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"and it finds me; the fight inside is coursing through my veins."


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Enemy
Familiar friend
My beginning and my end
Knowing truth
Whispering lies
And it hurts again...

What I fear
What I try
What I say and what I heard
All the pain
I want it to end
But I want it again

And it finds me
The fight inside...
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heres a song i wrote long LONG ago. i think it was one of my better ones. maybe ill start back up again.


i miss your smile, the way you taste
i close my eyes and cant forget your face
the tears have dried the storm has cleared
but i still see a paled soul
when i look at the mirror

and these scars run...
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just turn the page and watch me grow


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I'm comin' up for air so I can
Check myself again and I stand
Proven to the man but sheltered
Confidence we tend to (shove in)
Unexpected hunger traps me
Just shut up and stand beside me
I don't need your understanding
I don't need to change a damn thing

And though I'm...
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yeah, i switched this from friends only to public because... well, whats the point if only certain people can read it? i wrote this a couple weeks ago....

im am man of thought. a man of action. im a man building a future. a man of progression. can i be a man who gives up? im an emotional man, a strongly built mind operating a...
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chrysis:
This is good.

First thing I've been able to truly get behind in a while.

I think you are writing from a good place.
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this just in.... illy might be going to..... kansas?

this is correct, an adventure just came before my feet in the form of a redneck friend inviting me up to kansas this weekend for the mud nationals! in other words a whole lot of southern redneck people in the middle of the boonies watching trucks drive through mud... and toss me into the middle of...
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time for some free writing?

yesterday was one of the greatest days ever. in the morning, i changed my oil, rotated my tires, thanked my sunday night designated driver and a couple other people who were nice to me that night, then.... nothing. the rest of the night. my roommate went to work for the night, and i was all alone, movies and video games...
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chrysis:
Have definitely seen the coffee video. Yeah, it's a good one.