illuminatus

It's gotten this bad. I don't even know what to write to myself. I'm completely losing the will to talk to ANYONE. I feel like I've reached this point again, where I'm willing to just allow myself to fall into absolutely nothing, watching as I fail at everything I have ever desired to have, tried to have. Fail at everything, anything I ever was.

Luckily,...
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Funny things happen in life. Funny things about life. The people we encounter aren't the same as the people we meet. The people we meet are not the same as the people we talk to. The people we talk to are not the same as the people we learn about. What we say is not always what we think. What we think is rarely something...
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Right now, 28 Days Later. In one hour, Tron: Legacy Imax 3d.

In the future.....








Oh yes, and the year has JUST begun... what am I forgetting? lol

Woke up this morning from terrors of dreams again, only followed by awkward dreams. Look at my phone to see an awkward text, then to read an awkward email. It's going to be one of those days. At least I got rid of all my beer, minus two cans. Don't have any scotch, either. Just coffee.

We had a saying in the army about mistakes....
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I feel that need, yet again, to reevaluate things in my life. Prioritize. Assess.

Fuck I hate these moments. I hate meeting people sometimes, other times I just plain hate people. They complicate things, they confuse you. Act like a friend for years then turn around and stab you right in the chest, knowing full well what line they cross.

They talk out of pure...
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So, maybe I can keep this one short. Should be able to.

It's my continuing struggle. My everlasting internal fight. I was out with friends again last night, but this time with the mindset of just goofing off and having fun, which I have to admit I did, with minimal alcohol (two beers and a scotch over a four hour period) and lots of singing!...
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So, I can start blogging again on here for real. Not like the last two, which were pictures and copy of a facebook blog from a few days earlier.

So, I'm sitting here watching the football game (Eagles, by the way. I always watch the Eagles games!) and made it all the way to halftime without even thinking about an alcoholic drink. I just cracked...
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So, the only reason I'm posting this from my facebook is because I had a strange random desire to access my SG site, for no reason at all, like I wasn't responding to a friend request.

So it's been a bit since I've really taken an analysis of myself to the light of the world. Another story of destruction and retribution. Another moment to humble...
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I'm completely amazed this shit is still functioning. I don't recall renewing my subscription this time last year. Oh well.

Since I'm here, I might as well state that I am doing exceptionally well, as my forward momentum is recently unwaivering. I do fight urges to lash out and vent intense fights built up within me, but I'm slowly letting those stresses out in non...
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this is it, my final post to this wondrous site. i have been contemplating my continued presence here and have, for those who do not know, come to the conclusion that this site is no longer a necessity to me. as life moves on, so must we.

i have been using this place as an output for my thoughts, granting me the ability to release...
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i have decided.....