hypoxian

Ive been feeling very disconnected from everyone. Going to school, working nights all the time, it really sucks after awhile. All my friends are mad at me because Im not around much and Ive noticed they dont call. I think they always assume the same answer from me when they call. Im becoming less connected to my online friends as well. The interactions Im having with people here is not the same. Im not sure what about me is different but I guess people have noticed a change. For some reason I have an overwhelming sense to make everybody happy no matter how miserable they are feeling. Any efforts I put in dont seem good enough though. They make me feel like I have to drop everything for them in an instant and come to the rescue. It makes me want to quit sometimes. I feel like by next year Ill have a great job but no friends. Why cant people believe that I do care? And I would also be curious to see how many people would come to my rescue. All of this is just feelings cumulating within me causing stress and a lot of frustration. Its taken a physical toll on me. Ive lost 35 pounds since January, some through exercise, most through not eating enough and always on the go. I skipped school today just to clear my head a little. I try my hardest at everything I do, thats why Im so committed to the idea of becoming a better person.
Then again, maybe its all my imagination but who knows. Im getting the feeling that most people are not reading my journal anymore either. If you read this, it means I havent pissed you off, offended you or lost your attention yet. Thank you, it means something to me. Ill shut up now and get back to work.