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hotpockets

Portland, OR

Member Since 2004

Followers 47 Following 50

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Sunday Oct 23, 2005

Oct 23, 2005
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I spent more time driving to and being at Home Depot on Friday night than actually working on my paddles. It was good though. I ended up botching only one (silly router-bit guides not working) but hey, it was definitely worth it.

I finished in the early hours of Saturday while I was printing out business 'cards' and spec sheets.

The actual vendor's fair was interesting. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but regardless of my expectations, it wasn't that. It was cool, however. I sold four and traded three, so I made my materials, vendor's fee and parking back, plus a couple bucks with which to purchase other 'things'

The girl that I like still hasn't explained herself (If I hate something, or get angry at anything, it's because I don't understand it. If you want me to be not angry, just explain it or at least just talk about it. I'm amicable after that). This means I 'm not really on the greatest terms with her right now. It was pretty tense at the Vendor's Fair.

I was exhausted--mentally, physically and emotionally--and I looked it. She told me to smile (ughh). I didn't tell her that she was part of the reason as to why I was not smiling. I can tell that she's just as uncomfortable around me as I am around her right now.

The party was fun as heck though. I lined up a date at the fair earlier, so I was really excited (and I got food, so my body could actually show excitement, to boot). It was a blast. It was a really well-respected player and they really just took care of me. It was exactly what I needed.

It's funny: when I was in the scene, in that situation, all my primal concerns were about responding to the sensation. But there arose times when I would think about other things going on, problems, issues, but they were received in my brain as totally objective. They just happened to be there. There wasn't an emotion attached to them. They told me that it seemed like meditation almost. It's true. It does that same job

I was so high by the end of the evening (not on pot, you foolstongue) that I just went home. So I feel bad about not calling anyone and stuff to go out for hypnogogic and ladybelmont's thing last night. Sorry!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
missmyla:
We missed you on Saturday, but it sounds like you had a good time anyway smile
Oct 24, 2005
venice:
Except it is a matter of need. Basic human need to be vulnerable and to be loved and to be cared for. All the things you just need when you're a kid. And I refuse to let myself need anything from anyone.
Oct 24, 2005

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