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honeycrack

Member Since 2005

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Monday Feb 21, 2005

Feb 21, 2005
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okay..spilling of guts commences... warning.... ookay.. so im really confused right now about what im doing.. i live with my boyfriend... aka the man that sleeps in the same bed.. but is addicted to world of warcraft and doesnt spend anytime with his girlfriend.. .. im soo over all of it.. nothing is ever going to change with him.... i was hoping this move would maybe motivate him somehow.. maybe the space would help.. but things are the same and always will be.... now its just recently that ive come to this awful conclusion.. i wanted to have babies with this guy.. he has a good job, is smart, very attractive.... and deep down somewhere we have lots in common.. but i think all that doesnt really matter anymore.. i mean.. he has no drive. no want to do anything, he halfasses EVERYTHING...... i mean everything.. i just look at him and i cant stand how lazy he is... how he loses intrest in everything.. he used to love to play guitar.. he has two.. never touches em.. played magic the game.. has a gazillion cards.. never touches em.... just recently started playing D&D minis.. i even like that.. never touches em.. BUILT HIS OWN CHOPPER .. IT NEEDS LIKE 4 HOURS OF WORK.. HASNT TOUCHED IT IN 7 MONTHS.. thats a 24,000 dollar toy and alot of hard work.. doing nothing.. halfassed designed a few websites for people he knows very well, for their businesses.. doesnt do any follow up or anything with them... .. it goes on n on n on n on.. im thinking hes lost interest in me too frown shit.. we havent had sex in like 4 months now.. ...talk about feeling a little self-consious.... i just dont know if i should stick it out and hopefully he will come around.. i dont want to just toss the last year and then some out the window.. but i just dont know if its right anymore.. i think i need to leave.. i just dont know how... and i wonder if he is trying to get me to leave.. im not a nagger, i dont ask anything of him that a normal person with responsibilities would do.. like paying the bills on a monthly basis... doing laundry every once in a while.. maybe loading or unloading the dishwasher... just simple little things that i dont mind doing on a regular basis.. i like to take care of him and do those things.. but a little help and effort would be sooooo much appreciated.. .. i really dont feel like im asking him to do crazy things... and he simply just doesnt do anything.. 5-7 hours a night on that stupid game.. .... i dont deserve this... and he doesnt deserve me..... i need to get out of here...HELP blackeyed
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
hyperboy:
Geesh woman... sounds like you wait till the last second on shit! Glad you are getting it taken care of now!

Hey, about your journal entry. I know people are posting that he is a loser and this and that... but the truth is, that game is addictive... well, I haven't played that game actually, but any of those online games are addictive. They change your life. My last relationship fell apart in part because of Everquest. I stopped playing that game, and it is amazing how I now want to do OTHER stuff.

Realizing he is addicted is the first step. You can't make him, he will have to figure it out for himself. I don't exactly know how everything is in your household, but it sounds like you are a GREAT girl... so was my ex. We had other problems though. Anyways, you are right, things aren't really going to change until he admits he is addicted to it.

My ex didn't want to have sex, just wanted to hang on me. Didn't want to have conversation, didn't want to go out with her friends... ever! You, on the other hand, sound like exactly what a guy could want. Just the right balance. It is ashame he can't see through his problem and realize the life that he is destroying.

Anyways, good luck to you. not sure if I helped/hurt/or whatever... but I wish you the best.

Feb 22, 2005
drummer73129929:
The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. This may sound mean, but you can't fix him. You can't control him. You can't make him do what you think is best for him. If we could than millions of teens would not be making the same mistakes as their parents did before them. The best thing you can do for him is calmly explain to him your concerns in a non-accusing, judgemental way and that you care about him. The rest is up to him. You can't help someone that doesn't want help. He just needs to be left to live his own life.

But it's not him I'm concerned about, it's you. You need to start taking care of what you need. Someone above said to follow your heart and I disagree with that slightly because your heart is not reliable. It can be mislead by emotion. Instead follow your gut. You know in your gut what you need to do. You know whether or not you are getting what you need and whether this person is even capable of giving you what you need in the future. Remember, there are 6 billion people in this world. Somewhere out there there exists someone that will give you what you need in a partner. Sure he may be a good friend, but a lover needs to be so much more. Almost anyone can be a good friend if you let them in, but not everyone can be a good lover. And trust me, once intamacy leaves the relationship it's over. Intamacy is what seperates a friend from a lover.

I'm in a simular situation right now, but that is something I can get into later if you are interested. By no means am I trying to tell you what to do or push you in a direction, but you need to take care of yourself first. If you are not happy at home, you can't possibly be truely happy in other aspects of your life. Good luck.
Feb 22, 2005

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