I had very violent dreams last night. I got into several fights in my dream with subjects who only partially instigated shit...I mean, they were assholes. I don't know if being a asshole warrents me trying to pop your eyes out with my fingers, but in dreamland it does 
I am a firm believer that dreams tell you whats really going on in your heart or the world around you-the world you are ignoring or are just too dumb or scared to see. I think I had those fight dreams because of this girl who was at A's bday party last night. She's just one of those girls who thinks her sarcasm is funny, when its really more assholish then clever. No me gusta assholes.
My food allergies are actin up big time. I think its because I had ice cream yesterday and a smirnoff...too much shugar activates my candida big time!!
Wanted to pick up a pack of smokes this morning. Not because I really wanted to smoke, as I find the habit gross and yucky now. I just really wanted to smoke cause I felt sad and fat and when I feel like that I always smoke. Now I know I in the pictures above I look thin...but that was last year, and not now. I am not obese or anything, its just all very differnet from last year. So much is different from last year. My body (I have boobos now
), where I live, my financial situation, my health, and even who I am friends with, ormore accuratley who I am not friends with. I know from september to june I was suffereing from serious depression. I just felt so sad the last 6 months. No one really noticed. Some did, like K 
and what not, but no one else did. The cutting and everything came back full swing, and I think thats why I slept so much and was just so... 
Next subject..this is not helping.
I love reading suicide girl blogs. They should make books of them. Oh and they should make posters. I want a poster of snow suicide.
Look!! Me driving
I am a firm believer that dreams tell you whats really going on in your heart or the world around you-the world you are ignoring or are just too dumb or scared to see. I think I had those fight dreams because of this girl who was at A's bday party last night. She's just one of those girls who thinks her sarcasm is funny, when its really more assholish then clever. No me gusta assholes.
My food allergies are actin up big time. I think its because I had ice cream yesterday and a smirnoff...too much shugar activates my candida big time!!
Wanted to pick up a pack of smokes this morning. Not because I really wanted to smoke, as I find the habit gross and yucky now. I just really wanted to smoke cause I felt sad and fat and when I feel like that I always smoke. Now I know I in the pictures above I look thin...but that was last year, and not now. I am not obese or anything, its just all very differnet from last year. So much is different from last year. My body (I have boobos now
), where I live, my financial situation, my health, and even who I am friends with, ormore accuratley who I am not friends with. I know from september to june I was suffereing from serious depression. I just felt so sad the last 6 months. No one really noticed. Some did, like K and what not, but no one else did. The cutting and everything came back full swing, and I think thats why I slept so much and was just so... Next subject..this is not helping.
I love reading suicide girl blogs. They should make books of them. Oh and they should make posters. I want a poster of snow suicide.
Look!! Me driving
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
easylazyrider:
The best thing to do is to write them down. It works for me, I understand myself better after reading it later the same day. It had also help my Cotenant to write a poetry book haha
amillahhighlife:
A man has to do what he has to do. Unfortunately, There has been nobody to curl up to for sometime now. That shit just came out the blue. All good though 