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holliday

Member Since 2004

Followers 93 Following 133

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Thursday Aug 11, 2005

Aug 10, 2005
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Thanks for all your comments...

And an even bigger thanks to anyone who has been forced to put up with my mega-drunk IMing the past few days...

***

I hardly even know what to say...

When Josh said to me, I don't even know how to go on...
I had told him, one foot in front of the other...
And that's what I'm trying to do too.

My instructors at the mercedes program have been very understanding. Letting me cry and dry heave in the bathroom for the first thirty minutes of class time without docking me time. And allowing me to leave the classroom to take phone calls from Josh's mom.

***

When I heard someone coming up the stairs, I found myself going to check if it was him out of habbit. I guess it will take me a minute to realize he's really gone. And he won't be coming up my stairs again.

I haven't heard from him yet, though I'm sure he's either made it home by now or is drawing near.

I don't know that I expect to hear from him. He's got a lot on his plate right now dealing with his family and friends' upset. Not to mention having to tell his 9 year old daughter that Daddy is going away again.

***

I never thought I'd hear myself say that I just didn't care that I'm finally heading back to NYC this weekend...but to be honest, right now I can hardly feel anything.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
toothpick:
Fuck. That's about all I can muster in regards to this.
Aug 11, 2005
legionnaire:
I'd tell you how much that sucks, but you already know. I'd say that you'll feel better, but it won't help. The one thing I can offer you is the knowledge that people do come back, and they don't forget the ones who thought of them while they were gone.
Aug 11, 2005

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