Bleh...I'm feeling sick...again...
I've been sick more times in the past year than in any other year of my life.
What makes me especially angry about this is that I'm quite certain it has something to do with the fact that we don't have a ventilation system in this office.
I'm also pretty sure that it's got something to do with the toxic mold, oil based paint, and new rugs...plus all the sick clients that come in here, goodness knows where THEY'VE been...half of them living in shelters...and no ventilation system.
I've already had at least five colds, walking pneumonia, and two ear infections...not to mention the endless headaches, sinus pain, and fatigue.
And before you ask...the reason we can't get anything done about this is because our agency doesn't care. And even if they cared...the building is owned by the New York City Housing Authority...who are less reliable than our agency, if that's at all possible. And why have we never gone to the news with it? Because being that we work in domestic violence...I can't tell them where the office is much less let them in here.
Needless to say, I can't fucking WAIT to get out of here. I'm handing in my letter of resignation first thing Monday morning.
I was in the office late last night with a co-worker of mine doing some paper work when we started to talk about our issues and concerns with the agency.
It feels terrible to watch her become as burnt out as I have. She works so hard and does so much good work. I can't stand to tell her that this is it. This is what it's like all over.
I admit that I'm so burnt out at this point that I can't even do my fucking job. I hate to see that this job has made me so fucking jaded and bitter and angry...exactly the person I had worked so hard to un-become. It honestly and truly makes me want to cry. In fact, I used to cry. Back when I was new here. I'd get so frustrated I'd close my office door and have myself a little cry.
At this point...I'm beyond tears. It hurts to see my clients suffer because of the agency...but I'm just too exhausted to care anymore.
***Update***
I'm really fucking depressed today.
I'm irritated and at the end of my rope.
I haven't been sleeping very well at all lately. I've been falling asleep earlier, but waking up numerous times during the night.
At least I'm not having any nightmares.
I didn't go to hapkido yesterday as planned because I wasn't feeling well. I planned to go today and it looks like I'm backing out of that as well.
Hopefully I'll be able to get myself out of my house tomorrow to go get ripped with the sgny folks. Though I'd bet, knowing me, I'll try to get out of it.
More than likely I'll wind up sitting on my fat butt at home drinking until I pass out. If I'm lucky, I might vomit. But I'm just not that fucking lucky.
I've been sick more times in the past year than in any other year of my life.
What makes me especially angry about this is that I'm quite certain it has something to do with the fact that we don't have a ventilation system in this office.
I'm also pretty sure that it's got something to do with the toxic mold, oil based paint, and new rugs...plus all the sick clients that come in here, goodness knows where THEY'VE been...half of them living in shelters...and no ventilation system.
I've already had at least five colds, walking pneumonia, and two ear infections...not to mention the endless headaches, sinus pain, and fatigue.
And before you ask...the reason we can't get anything done about this is because our agency doesn't care. And even if they cared...the building is owned by the New York City Housing Authority...who are less reliable than our agency, if that's at all possible. And why have we never gone to the news with it? Because being that we work in domestic violence...I can't tell them where the office is much less let them in here.
Needless to say, I can't fucking WAIT to get out of here. I'm handing in my letter of resignation first thing Monday morning.
I was in the office late last night with a co-worker of mine doing some paper work when we started to talk about our issues and concerns with the agency.
It feels terrible to watch her become as burnt out as I have. She works so hard and does so much good work. I can't stand to tell her that this is it. This is what it's like all over.
I admit that I'm so burnt out at this point that I can't even do my fucking job. I hate to see that this job has made me so fucking jaded and bitter and angry...exactly the person I had worked so hard to un-become. It honestly and truly makes me want to cry. In fact, I used to cry. Back when I was new here. I'd get so frustrated I'd close my office door and have myself a little cry.
At this point...I'm beyond tears. It hurts to see my clients suffer because of the agency...but I'm just too exhausted to care anymore.
***Update***
I'm really fucking depressed today.
I'm irritated and at the end of my rope.
I haven't been sleeping very well at all lately. I've been falling asleep earlier, but waking up numerous times during the night.
At least I'm not having any nightmares.
I didn't go to hapkido yesterday as planned because I wasn't feeling well. I planned to go today and it looks like I'm backing out of that as well.
Hopefully I'll be able to get myself out of my house tomorrow to go get ripped with the sgny folks. Though I'd bet, knowing me, I'll try to get out of it.
More than likely I'll wind up sitting on my fat butt at home drinking until I pass out. If I'm lucky, I might vomit. But I'm just not that fucking lucky.
mold
uhhhhhhghghhghhghghghhh
hope you get better.
[Edited on May 07, 2004 9:48AM]
hello