holliday

CAN'T HELP BUT BE A ROCKSTAR...

Took Saturday night off work to go party at the bar I used to work at for my old boss's birthday.

Even though that bitch fired me I'm still a rockstar every time I walk in. Even SHE gets excited when I show up.

I informed the cocktail waitress that I had tracked down a midget stripper, as requested, but couldn't get in touch with her.

We waited anxiously for the stripper they'd hired to show up...but when she did, what a disappointment. I swear that woman was an 80 year old bag lady.

I immediately got on the phone with ALL my stripper girls trying to track one down who could come out last minute. In a pinch they were going to try and get me to do it, but I was a big NO on that idea.

Just when all hope looked lost...my bitch showed up...and gave my boss the lap dance of her LIFE!!!

The band played on...I got the bra off some lady I don't know...got everyone out of the dancefloor and made that bitch shimmy her ass off.

And when my boss got up on the bar to dance, so did I, brandishing my whip...

It's a skill really...can't explain it, but seems people are just WAITING to get naked and naughty and I'm just the person to get them there.

I bought a lapdance for my friend Wado...poor guy hasn't had sex in years...

And I gave that cocktail waitress a lapdance too...(seems i can hardly resist getting naked either!)

A thousand drinks later...we closed down...but not before my boss asked me to come in on Sunday as a 'guest bartender.'

That's right ladies and gentlemen...I'm a fucking rockstar...and don't you ever forget it.