highresolution

"the pressure is building at the base of my spine,
if i had to sin to see her again,
then i would lie,
lie,
lie."

- puscifier

i am here and waiting. it is ok to not know, to question that which we don't understand.

i met a man who had the word Heal carved into his arm, it was scarred white and smooth but had sharp jagged edges of twisted flesh. i asked what it meant and he just smiled, shook his head and said, "Heal."

i am here and i am waiting, dreaming for you.

an extra line is tattoed across my arm, it reads;

'carve her name'

just so i don't forget.

i am here and i will wait.

Z out

cheer up *****

*hugs*

i still think yer pretty cool hehe
miss ya!

Hiya.

Where in Oz are you?

i just thought i would say hello aussie girl, i saw ur location after i posted somewhere after you so hi there

I am saddened. Don't fear, no preaching sermons, nothing like that from me. Not when I can't look in your eyes and make you understand what it is that I am saying and that my words come from that place of anguish inside myself.

i guess this could be a plea, to you from me, to me from you.

i guess, i wish, if only.

Please don't break. Please. Money serves its purpose as a tool, as trade, it is not paramount to survival. You are stronger. I know that.

Your honesty has shown that strength already, I can see that you are stronger than me.

I'll shut-up now. And sorry, I meant this to be funnier and less intense.

Z out


[Edited on Apr 18, 2005 10:54AM]

I downed a quarter bottle of whisky last night. I was gonna hurl, but then I sat down and I was good. Whisky

We should catch up soon, for a drink...........or seven.

glad u recodnize though the computer screen

I am impressed by the attempt. Let alone the success. I have no party tricks. Sorry.

Unless get hell messed-up and lost amongst the insanity of self counts? Although I doubt it.

Keep up the practice.

I hate being frustrated and horny. I have a bottle of cute happiness for you by the way.

Also, which is your real birthday?...

cheer up

wow you've got an interesting journal!
im liking the whiskey myself right now, ever since i picked up 'the dirt' by motley crue and read about their adentures, i've been having a hard time staying away from it, in my weak attempt to try and mimick their lifestyles...

stay cool you.

butterfly breakfree of the past
pain and lust never last
feel the love and discover the cool clean space
that u may inhabit the earth as its child

move on, temptress
into the light
dont make the mistake of being in the night
forever blind, seeking, that pure fright
that lies in a tunnel towards blackness and fear

love like a child, again
grasp the beauty while u can
love freely
accept the love that will flow from
each day

White
bright
clean
fresh
new

follow that new star
be brave
reach out

i love u

you are wise beyond your 18 years.....

someday, i hope to see the eyes that see such pain.... the saviour in me wants to save you....but the realist in me knows it's something that is up to another force in the world that's out of my control...something that commits us both to lessons learned or something else hopeful. the pessimist in me says it's all for naught and that we are the universe's marks of prey, to which lessons will be only a futile attempt at trying to attach reason to any of these experiences.

i can only take solace in knowing that there are others...such a twisted way of perceiving things i guess.... but without, to fall to depths of insanity... because problems while human, alone are torture.

all i know for certain is that i wish i could give you something. i wish i could give myself something....

but that's all i have -- that's all that is tangible -- the wish.

i wish i could write you some amazing sonnet or inspirtional hymn, or insightful intellectual asertation of what you are going through.
but the truth is, for all of the romantic me that wants to be able to do that, the realistic me knows that i have nothing to offer you that you cannot find in yourself.
years of feeling the way you are now, and grasping for small pearls of wisdom left me nowhere but lower, and emptier than when i had begun my quest for something to heal me.
you have been chosen, to bear these burdens by who and for what? no answer. but only you can step away. and re-invent. and leave it behind. not esier said than done. i have done it. and you will too. or not- it is that simple.
but you are not alone, know that. find strength in the fact that you still feel the pain, contempt, anger, and regret. because with the loss of those feelings you will have lost yourself. all of the evil would have conquered every last but of you. you still have a chance, and still have a grasp on what is your birth given right, to love youself, your life and all around you. to do so freely, with innocence, trust, and unconditional devotion and every fiber of your soul.
hold on to that. and push through with its strength.
i have been with you.
and will continue to be.
ps. the marolbourough man died of cancer. and i loved the picture.

drunken love note as requested- from " bitch":
i wil llove you and ride horses with you..... we will have to work out the kids thing since we both have cunnys..
now fuck the hell out of me, and ill make sweet love to you till all of your chores dissapear, and your only responsibility is realizing how wonderful you are. you are not an animal for you simply do not exist just to survive. lets forget that there is no point to this madness and make our own out of all of the love that we have lost.
k .
thats all
the buzz is gone.

was that a picture of george bush?

I have no idea what you're talking about either. Revolution is started by force.

Revolution of a record, it has to be pushed or forced to move

Revolution of a system, has to be forced into reformation; ie. emancipation of serfs in Russia.

friendship can also lead to betrayel.and the worst battles are those who where once friends...so choose them wisely

still got the penis envy, eh? well, the offer still stands. i can wrap and package up mine for you and ship it to Australia. should be there in a couple of weeks. it's in great shape and i think you'll be very satisfied with it