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hellstorm

Gates, NY

Member Since 2003

Followers 199 Following 311

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Friday Jan 07, 2005

Jan 7, 2005
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So this friend (if you read previous journal posts by me) that I thought we were close to dating, well, haven't talked since December.

she told me she was there to talk when my uncle disappearred. I called her to tell him they found his body (he committed suicide). after listening for a short while, she told me she had to go.

last I heard from her.

I've had times where I'm on-line with no away message, so is she. no response. nothing.

always nice, considering how things progressed:

May - she tells me she wants to be more than friends. we start exploring this, becoming sort of "friends with benefits"/pre-dating crap

during the summer, I spend quite a bit of time with her (mind you, its a 4 hour drive to see her).

I'm there when her mom dies of cancer. I spend almost a week with her and her family (in a job I just started).

I fly out to a wedding at the end of August. she tells me when I return that she's thought about things, and doesn't want what we had.

see her in September. she says she's determined she's not the one for me.

see her again in September. its "you never know what the future might hold"

mid-October, she goes home for a wedding. before leaving, talks about missing me. comes back, stops talking to me. eventually tells me she regrets everything and needs time away.

I give her the time. end of October, she blocks me from her sub-profile, deletes any entry I had in it.

her roommate tells me that she never wanted to do anything and felt pressured to do things to make me happy. she says the same (I'm sorry, but asking for something or physically grabbing my hand and moving it places, um, is that saying "yes" to something or requesting it?)

says she needs time, she still wants to be friends, but needs time apart. I give her that, AGAIN.

tells me good holidays around Thanksgiving.

everything with my uncle.

that's the last I've heard from her.

WTF? what is going on here?

and people wonder why I have this serious belief that I will never be in a relationship really or have kids. when I go through this, what am I to think?

anyone have anything they want to add?

whatever

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