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hellstorm

Gates, NY

Member Since 2003

Followers 199 Following 311

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Monday Jun 26, 2006

Jun 26, 2006
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thanks for the kind words. since I've "made" some new friends here, I should warn people, I tend to write "sad" since so few people here like to see me sad. its one of the fun things my family has done to make me the way I am. and probably part of the reason why people tend to not last in a relationship with me, I keep so much in, to find out what I'm feeling requires a lot of prying, and I'm guessing any girlfriend gets sick and tired of that. oh well. while I wish there was someone here for me that I could share how I feel, I also don't know how to! so instead, I keep almost everything below the surface, and write sometimes when I need to!

fun and quick day at work yesterday. and its quite amazing what a good night's sleep will do for you! I've kind of learned that if my sleep gets interrupted, and I try napping during the day, it screws things all sorts of ways up! like my mood and everything! might have contributed to me feeling "blah" on Saturday.

that and lack of food can impact me. since I have some signs of low blood sugar, I ask, anyone out there, can low blood sugar lead to feeling depressed? just curious! thanks!

so work yesterday, got back to maintainence, and I was able to "go". including doing some mopping and such that needed it. the manager commented how I was able to catch everything up! I'm more or less considered to be one of the top 2 maintainence workers, and, well, most (if not all) of the managers and coordinators take my word, because, as one coordinator said, "Everytime I look, you're either doing garbages, mopping, sweeping, cleaning, or doing something else related to the job, so I'm not worried about things getting done, since you're always doing something."

and the one coordinator told me that, chances are, my hours will not be cut in July like I've been previously told. I'm quite flexible there (able to do 3 jobs; maintainence, outside, and register), plus unbelievably flexible in hours (the only way to increase my availablity is to train me for overnight cashier, then I'm available 24/7), and I work. so that's a definite plus!

and almost laughing now, the girl I kind of dated a few years back, that managed (yet again, its amazing how girls do that) to mess my head up, well, she's not too happy now either. she basically told me she didn't want to date me shortly after her mom died. that was in August/September of '04. earlier this year she sent me an IM first blasting me, then apologizing, saying how her friends were lying about me and stuff I posted (making things up) to try and get her to get over me. mind you, I haven't contacted her since December '04 (when she asked about my uncle, who had disappeared...that we found out the next day had committed suicide), so I have no idea why she's hung up. well, she's since learned that her relationship with her father is fake (they talk about nothing really) and she has no one (maybe 2 people) to talk to about her mother. and feeling bummed about it. well, gee, maybe her own doing.

so I wish her luck. she threw away one resource, that's for sure, when she decided to block me on IM and all sorts of stuff about 2 years ago! so life seems to be with me.

now, well, today I have off. so I might clean some. I do have to clean out the back of my car. I tend to "stockpile" things in my backseat, and, well, having to put 2 car seats back there, everything went on the floor. bottles, CD's (home made ones), work shirt, a long sleeve shirt, and who knows what else! oops! eeek

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