hefaistos

when i was young, i fantasized about having a relationship that was stronger even than a desire for life. sid and nancy, bonnie and clyde, romeo and juliet were the stories i idolized. i often told girls, and later, women, that i would die for them. i meant it at the time, but upon reflection, i was a moron. life is for living, not for searching for the end.

take sid and nancy as an example. sid vicious had an extrordinary oppritunity and he blew it with a decadent urge that he knew was killing him, yet he didnt resist it. he ran headlong into oblivion, and damn the people that looked up to him, or thought of him as a becon,a guiding light, or a role model.
the sort of thinking that i believe started the punk movement was new. it was freash, and it was indeed necesarry. jammin spikes isnt what i believe punk was about in the seventies, and i resent the fact that many people believe that it is, based on the demise of sid. an original thought, a perspective that hasnt yet been considered is more valuable to me, than all the gold and diamonds on earth. i have never had this, but always desired it. sid and the sex pistols did have exactly this. many of the punk bands from that era had it as well, as did many of thier followers and supporters. most of what i remember from that time frame wasnt self mutilation, saftey pins through places they shouldnt have been, or bright colored spikey hair and studded leather. it was the thing that were being said about society, and humanity in general. the hair clothes and piercings were simply a way of getting people to be shocked into hearing it.
in the process of trying to solidify this thought into something i could write, i re-watched the movie, sid and nancy. i read all of the magazine and newspaper clippings i still have about the pistols, and i read every thing i could find on the net. one search on yahoo netted over five hundred thousand sites containing the phrase"sex pistols". i didnt read all of them. i didnt need too. i read the ones where people were saying what a waste. i read the ones extolling the virtues of the way sid went out, and the way the pistols spiraled. i read about fans and detractors. everyone has opinions, and i read them. dont change my thought at all. he was a legend. his woman was insane. they both will live forever, irregaurdless of thier intentions otherwise. the murder/suicide thing was a waste of time.