i told my kids, and my dad today. wasnt easy. the kids handled it just fine, i think they are young enough to think that im still invinsable.
it is funny, my whole life i have spent pursuing career, and hobbies that would kill me, somehow hoping that it would, and when i actually have to face the end, all i want to do is live, and live well. i might be able to beat this, and i hope i do, providing it doesnt make me into some sort of invalid or vegitable. if i do, i will no longer put off the things i have wanted to do for so long. never again will i be to busy to take my boys fishing, or miss a game, or ask them to stop playing thier drums or guitar. probably the only thing i havent done for myself so far, is climb to the top of one of those arroyo's, or watever the mountainous things are in the desert, that seem to stand alone in a vast area, i dont know what they are called, but i always wanted to climb one, and camp on top of it for a few days, maybe pray, maybe just ponder the wonder of the world.
might go do that this summer.
might take the kids with me.
anyone want to split the gas?
it is funny, my whole life i have spent pursuing career, and hobbies that would kill me, somehow hoping that it would, and when i actually have to face the end, all i want to do is live, and live well. i might be able to beat this, and i hope i do, providing it doesnt make me into some sort of invalid or vegitable. if i do, i will no longer put off the things i have wanted to do for so long. never again will i be to busy to take my boys fishing, or miss a game, or ask them to stop playing thier drums or guitar. probably the only thing i havent done for myself so far, is climb to the top of one of those arroyo's, or watever the mountainous things are in the desert, that seem to stand alone in a vast area, i dont know what they are called, but i always wanted to climb one, and camp on top of it for a few days, maybe pray, maybe just ponder the wonder of the world.
might go do that this summer.
might take the kids with me.
anyone want to split the gas?
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
I'm really honored that you care enough about us and trust us enough to share your pain.
I'm new here, don't really know anyone yet, but I'm really awed that your's was one of the first journals I read.
I too am one of those people who hasn't given himself permission to start "living" yet. I fucking HATE that about myself!
You've given me the gift of unconsiously "kicking me in the ass" and telling me to "stop wasting your life."
Thank you for having the courage to REALLY live your life!
I'll split the gas with ya anytime!!
You have such an awesome attitude about this. You're a very, very strong, wonderful person and I have no doubt that you can beat this. You sound like an amazing father as well. I'm always here for you. My email is notapretty_gi77@hotmail.com. Even if you do have to go off SG, try to email me or have someone email me if you don't feel well enough. My thoughts are with you.