I think one of the most detrimental things for someone’s mental health is not having the self love to have any conviction in your ability to make a decision.
Indecision isn’t only not being able to make a decision, it’s more about sticking to one, in my experience.
It can be exploited. For example, somebody with ulterior motivation can lie to you to make their wish seem the most viable and/or attractive option. All flowers bend towards the sun, right?
Once they’ve done that they take advantage of your indecision, and this bit is interesting.
They can persuade you again, but for another option, so you begin to doubt your decision making - this is the difficult bit, staying true to yourself. But of course, you are so indecisive you don’t know what you want.
In the end, it becomes the case that they are telling you what you want and you can’t resist it because it’s become habitual and it’s so hard to break out of.
You slowly become indifferent. Even if it’s important. They have done you the favour you wanted them to — they have taken away the responsibility of the decision. If something goes wrong you’ll point the finger their way, but it won’t absolve you because it’s you who was meant to make the decision in the first place.
Then you realise you took the cowards way out.
And of course it hasn’t taken away the most important thing: you haven’t just let yourself down but you’ve let other people down. And that’s the worst part. You may once have been considered loyal, reliable, trustworthy and honest but now you have so little credence, so little integrity that it’s going to be difficult and take a long time to make amends.
