heatherisaboynow

Feel so useless. Been treated like an idiot for so long that I’ve kinda reclined into a state of apathy. I’m not expected to do anything difficult in real life and nobody around me is a challenge to my intellect...and so I have become stupid. I used to be oblivious and so fruitful in my thinking...I was creating constantly—every waking moment I was turning my life into art. Now my environment coerces me to be stupid, everything about my life now is s t u p i d. I want to escape this bubble and be a real human being who faces real challenges. Honestly, because I feel like I’m becoming someone who has lost all ability to deal with life. I have just enough to stop me from breaking out and rebelling but not enough to actually progress in life. Like a comfortable guillotine. When I write I feel so numb...without noticing, I have been stripped of all conflict and triumph that makes life interesting. This is how they break you...they take away the essence of living so you’re too comfortable to revolt, eventually you’ll lose your ability to do things for yourself, you rely on them. Once you depend they can do anything and you won’t be able to fight back.