headtraumajr

I've been in a rather strange mental state lately, like everything is just kinda duller and blander and more blah than usual. I'm looking forward to seeing Sarah again at the end of the month, but something has felt off there lately. Neither one of us has said anything but it just doesn't quite feel the same as before, like the air is going out of it but neither one of us wants it to. I dunno. Why do women find me more attractive on those rare occasions when I'm already with someone else? Poker is my refuge lately, though sometimes its still frustrating. Can I step things up to the next level? Or am I just an above average home game player, good enough to win donking around Boone or Ames , but without the talent or drive to step up into big or even medium games. I need a new job. My back is still hurt from before Christmas.The pain's not so bad I can't work with it, so I just keep going. I'm worried though, that it might cause permanent problems, that this might just be how it always is from now on. I need someone I can talk to about all the things running through my head, but there just isn't anybody. I can talk to Sarah about most things, but there's some I either can't or don't want to, and I can't just unload these kinds of things on any of my other friends.

In addition, I think i hate myspace, but maybe there's just too many people I used to know. Every once in awhile i just have to spend a late night after work when I'm already down running names and seeing how much more successful everybody else is. I need a break from being me.
The smoking popes, on the other hand , are awesome.