sooo new post quick one too i have work in like a hour and a half
so yesterday i saw a psychiatrist oh how fun that was i can only remeber my ups and downs when i've broken up with someone and now being one of thoes times and he asked me bout my history and drug use, DRUGS ARE BAD, unless priscribed. So i told him i'd smoked the wacky weed when i was like 16 and what not but who hasn't... EH EH EH. anywhos and that i smoke like a pack in 2 days and i've cut my drinking down cause i go all nuts and start crying and having stupid fits where all i wanna do is cry and tourture myself. and also that i've been shoving pins in my body to relieve my tension instead of drinking til i pass out in a pool of puke or taking a pack of anti depressants. I've once seen a counciler and well i dunno what that was for (well i do but shit all happened and they couldn't really help) I hate it i just wanna be reborn in a different way so i'm not inballenced like so many of us are.
so yesterday i wenyt shopping for nice halloween stuff for my car and i have some beautiful black roses for my car and bloodied hand prints and some web. and then i also bought Iron Man awesome movie but i cried half way through it cause it reminded me of my ex jamie. and right now i just want it all back everything all the love, not having many friends have nothing really but her. I want it all even tho i had nothing. if i died people would care and i know that that's why i'm struggling my way through each day i've been put up on to 20mg of my antideprresants like i know i should have been and i've a couple of times before being prescribed this done 2 or 3 but i don't know it could just be a me thing cause my heart hurts i wanna take a few and hope it helps. i might see if i can get a heart transplant cause this one is useless now.
My friend Sarah is feeling shit too i had a chat to her last night and she's not happy with her life and she knows she can change it but she in herself can't cause thats who she is. i want to help i'm trying but that makes more for me to deal with.
back when i was 19 i was going to go back to school and become a psychiatrist cause i try and i still do try to help people and their problems even when i'm shit. affairs of the heart are what people come to me for the most like at my mates 21st last year one of his friends asked me for advice i gave him what i could but my last relationships failed. i believe all you can do is be you and hope that someone likes you. and if you want that person real bad be friend them and find out who they are first not just run into the wall head on.
well thats all from me today i have work soon and still have to shower and stuff. so laters
so yesterday i saw a psychiatrist oh how fun that was i can only remeber my ups and downs when i've broken up with someone and now being one of thoes times and he asked me bout my history and drug use, DRUGS ARE BAD, unless priscribed. So i told him i'd smoked the wacky weed when i was like 16 and what not but who hasn't... EH EH EH. anywhos and that i smoke like a pack in 2 days and i've cut my drinking down cause i go all nuts and start crying and having stupid fits where all i wanna do is cry and tourture myself. and also that i've been shoving pins in my body to relieve my tension instead of drinking til i pass out in a pool of puke or taking a pack of anti depressants. I've once seen a counciler and well i dunno what that was for (well i do but shit all happened and they couldn't really help) I hate it i just wanna be reborn in a different way so i'm not inballenced like so many of us are.
so yesterday i wenyt shopping for nice halloween stuff for my car and i have some beautiful black roses for my car and bloodied hand prints and some web. and then i also bought Iron Man awesome movie but i cried half way through it cause it reminded me of my ex jamie. and right now i just want it all back everything all the love, not having many friends have nothing really but her. I want it all even tho i had nothing. if i died people would care and i know that that's why i'm struggling my way through each day i've been put up on to 20mg of my antideprresants like i know i should have been and i've a couple of times before being prescribed this done 2 or 3 but i don't know it could just be a me thing cause my heart hurts i wanna take a few and hope it helps. i might see if i can get a heart transplant cause this one is useless now.
My friend Sarah is feeling shit too i had a chat to her last night and she's not happy with her life and she knows she can change it but she in herself can't cause thats who she is. i want to help i'm trying but that makes more for me to deal with.
back when i was 19 i was going to go back to school and become a psychiatrist cause i try and i still do try to help people and their problems even when i'm shit. affairs of the heart are what people come to me for the most like at my mates 21st last year one of his friends asked me for advice i gave him what i could but my last relationships failed. i believe all you can do is be you and hope that someone likes you. and if you want that person real bad be friend them and find out who they are first not just run into the wall head on.
well thats all from me today i have work soon and still have to shower and stuff. so laters
Oooo, Halloween stuff!!
Go to cheap as chips, they have these spooky pictures!! They are old photographs turned into holograms (?) so when you look at them from certain angles the people change into zombies and werewolves etc!! I like one of a civil war era soldier who turns into a skeleton!!
Plus they have frankenstein head and jack o lantern lolly buckets!!