Help!
It's 2:20am (ish), and I still can't sleep. My sleep pattern for the last fornight has been getting worse. Last night cos of one thing and another I only slept 3 hours. This really sucks, cos when I am tired I get more arsey, and more annoyed at things quicker.
My appitie (sp?) is down to virtually nowt. As in nothing. Thinking about it, I don't see how, realisiticly I can be eating and drinking enough fluids to be keeping me going the hours my body is keeping me going.
Also I'm becoming a bit of recluse at the moment too. Actually a lot of one.
Went into work wednesday and I nearly had a bleeding panic attack over it. Now that's never happened to me before!
I feel like I am falling apart at the seams right now, and, still having all my facalites, am very aware of it. I told my manager this on wednesday before she told me to go home, because I was clearly not well nor fit for work. Which I wasn't. But I said, I know it's all up in my head, but don't know what it is.
Something in my sub concious is quite clearly fucking me right up at the moment, and I really don't need it. Not right now.
Oh Laura's Grandmother is dying too. We were told on the 20th that it's "a matter of days." In all honesty I am actually a little shocked she's still with us, over a week later, but, I'm not sure if I am mentally prepaired for when she does go. I know have to support Laura though this, and will have to lots. I guess that's kinda why I am hoping it's sooner rather than later so that I still have the mental energies and grip on my self to deal with it.
Kinda selfish huh?
Anyway so yeah. Sucks to be me.
See what the Doc has to say on Wednesday morning.
PS. Sorry about the spelling. I never was any good with it. Can't be arsed to spell check some of the words I know are probably wrong.
It's 2:20am (ish), and I still can't sleep. My sleep pattern for the last fornight has been getting worse. Last night cos of one thing and another I only slept 3 hours. This really sucks, cos when I am tired I get more arsey, and more annoyed at things quicker.
My appitie (sp?) is down to virtually nowt. As in nothing. Thinking about it, I don't see how, realisiticly I can be eating and drinking enough fluids to be keeping me going the hours my body is keeping me going.
Also I'm becoming a bit of recluse at the moment too. Actually a lot of one.
Went into work wednesday and I nearly had a bleeding panic attack over it. Now that's never happened to me before!
I feel like I am falling apart at the seams right now, and, still having all my facalites, am very aware of it. I told my manager this on wednesday before she told me to go home, because I was clearly not well nor fit for work. Which I wasn't. But I said, I know it's all up in my head, but don't know what it is.
Something in my sub concious is quite clearly fucking me right up at the moment, and I really don't need it. Not right now.
Oh Laura's Grandmother is dying too. We were told on the 20th that it's "a matter of days." In all honesty I am actually a little shocked she's still with us, over a week later, but, I'm not sure if I am mentally prepaired for when she does go. I know have to support Laura though this, and will have to lots. I guess that's kinda why I am hoping it's sooner rather than later so that I still have the mental energies and grip on my self to deal with it.
Kinda selfish huh?
Anyway so yeah. Sucks to be me.
See what the Doc has to say on Wednesday morning.
PS. Sorry about the spelling. I never was any good with it. Can't be arsed to spell check some of the words I know are probably wrong.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
not selfish at all, especially with how you are feeling at the moment, you just need to find a way to give what you can in terms of support, while still keeping enough for yourself. i know how it feels to see yourself falling apart and not be able to do anything about it. it's a helpless and frustrating feeling.
i'm sorry you are going through this and am sending you big hugs.
xx