Right now, I'm listening to the world's shittiest ska band.
They're these guys that live across the street from me. They've been doing this for about three years now and I've never taken the time to find out the name of the band, how popular/unpopular they are, or who's in the band. I like to picture them as retarded 40-year-olds. Complete with beer bellies and bald brows (or just bald... I wanted to keep up the alliteration).
To counter, though, they still haven't found out how not to suck.
Then again, being in a ska band in the first place says a lot about their maximum talent level.
About the lead singer.
He also plays the only guitar. And he's SO bad at playing, that he doesn't even realize he has to tune the guitar every once in a while. He's also tone deaf. Which makes his solos pretty painful. And I don't mean guitar solos. I mean vocal solos. They have songs where the entire band stops playing so he can live out his dream as an opera singer.
The drummer isn't that great, but at least he's got a little talent. He plays The Strokes on his stereo so he can drum along with them. A lot. And really loud.
There's no bass player.
The only talented guys are the horn section. And that's because they learned how to play their instruments in high school band. You can just tell they were band geeks by listening to them.
Although, lately, they've been writing some pretty blatant Vines-ripoff songs. So, while they might not be on a great (or even a moderately good) new artistic path, at least they're sort of moving away from 1996.
No, seriously.
And I'm not making this up:
They just had a three-minute jam session which consisted solely of the drummer hitting his foot pedal twice, then the lead singer screams, the drummer hits the foot pedal twice, the lead singer screams, and so on. At the end of the three minutes, they stop and the lead singer says to the drummer (INTO HIS MICROPHONE!!!), "Man, that is tight. we gotta write more of that."
Apparently the rest of the band is deaf, because the lead singer talks to them through his microphone all the time.
Suddenly, the idea of this band comprised of retarded 40-year-olds doesn't seem so funny.
Because there's a very good chance I might be right.
They're these guys that live across the street from me. They've been doing this for about three years now and I've never taken the time to find out the name of the band, how popular/unpopular they are, or who's in the band. I like to picture them as retarded 40-year-olds. Complete with beer bellies and bald brows (or just bald... I wanted to keep up the alliteration).
To counter, though, they still haven't found out how not to suck.
Then again, being in a ska band in the first place says a lot about their maximum talent level.
About the lead singer.
He also plays the only guitar. And he's SO bad at playing, that he doesn't even realize he has to tune the guitar every once in a while. He's also tone deaf. Which makes his solos pretty painful. And I don't mean guitar solos. I mean vocal solos. They have songs where the entire band stops playing so he can live out his dream as an opera singer.
The drummer isn't that great, but at least he's got a little talent. He plays The Strokes on his stereo so he can drum along with them. A lot. And really loud.
There's no bass player.
The only talented guys are the horn section. And that's because they learned how to play their instruments in high school band. You can just tell they were band geeks by listening to them.
Although, lately, they've been writing some pretty blatant Vines-ripoff songs. So, while they might not be on a great (or even a moderately good) new artistic path, at least they're sort of moving away from 1996.
No, seriously.
And I'm not making this up:
They just had a three-minute jam session which consisted solely of the drummer hitting his foot pedal twice, then the lead singer screams, the drummer hits the foot pedal twice, the lead singer screams, and so on. At the end of the three minutes, they stop and the lead singer says to the drummer (INTO HIS MICROPHONE!!!), "Man, that is tight. we gotta write more of that."
Apparently the rest of the band is deaf, because the lead singer talks to them through his microphone all the time.
Suddenly, the idea of this band comprised of retarded 40-year-olds doesn't seem so funny.
Because there's a very good chance I might be right.
You are free to go now... class dismissed.