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dusty:
besides the funny part that i said that i wasn't coming back here anymore...the even funnier part is that you have no idea what you are talking about.

there are no other girls, despite what you read or hear or even see for that matter. i am very content to be single at this point in my life. and for your information, i've cut the making out with EVERYONE down to just making out with ONE or something heh, i'm actually pretty proud of myself for being able to calm down even when extremely drunk...you'd probably be proud of me too, if you believed me.

and, my head is in a pretty good place right now. probably why i wanted to talk to you...because i felt good. i feel good. and i just cared, and missed you...and no, i don't have job, i'm still lazy, my room is a mess, but you know what? i don't feel bad to be me, and i think i'm starting to like myself, maybe even love myself...who know?!?! these are exciting times really.

heh. that's really funny. all the other girls. i'm not the one in a band who is confused if all these girls want me for my status or myself....sounds like YOU are the one surrounded by girls. hope you can find the one that is true to you...

love you ally. take care.
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FIRST: don't call.
not because i don' t want to here from you. it's just that i think you only call me because you are lost. i think we're on 2 completly different paths right now. maybe i'm wrong. i just don't have it in me to help you for someone else. i don't know why you would want...
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dusty:
you are seriously so full of yourself.

sorry i told you anything...

way to jump to conclusions and ruin honest genuine thoughts and feelings.

thanks. if you are trying to hurt me again, it worked. i won't be coming back here.


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all i can dois remeber when i loved you. it's good but sad ofcourse. too bad. it's good and bad to feel over you. to move on.it's a little sad. but i still have this little inklingthatNOone will be good enough. i guess i'll find out for myslef. you've always had girls or people offer you the world. so...
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dusty:
been thinking about you a lot lately.
kinda want to see you.
someone will eventually be good enough ally.
even better most likely.
and the girls, eh, they just want you because
it is all the rage to date a drummer right now.
it doesn't really matter why they want you in the first place though really, cuz eventually you will figure it out...or just leave them like you always do.
miss you
dusty:
i really want to call you right now
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rocking your town soon with errase errata. catch us if you can.
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a night with friends. and i'm not in the vulnerable position.
i was there to listen to help.
it's nice waking and not thinking of you.
passion is finally present and time can cure this ailment.
disapointment is all.
a nice clean cut was not in the cards.
i'm not mad.
i've gained a lot.
i know what i want.
i...
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dusty:
this morning as i was masturbating i thought of you...and i missed you...missed our sex...missed your hand...missed you...

i have not been back to your journal for a while and of course, having those feelings, thinking those thoughts i had to come and see...

i wanted to call you. wanted to hug you. still do. but i won't. i don't want to get in the way if things are looking up for you. i feel the tears that want to well up at this moment but i won't let myself...

i'm glad to hear that things are going good. i wish i was that girlfriend as well. would have loved to be there in support of my baby. hug her after the show...let her kiss me and my boobs just to show all the bitches they better back off...

a dream world ally. our relationship exists in an almost perfect dream world where everything is good and loving. two different worlds yet so the same...

and ally, your arms will always feel the same to me...
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JUST TO PISS YOU OFF. SEE YOU IN THE STARS SWEET HEART.
dusty:
it doesn't piss me off...it just makes me sad.

so does your profile. wish i could hug you....
dusty:
just read your last journal entry...and a lot of the things i said had nothing to do with your journal entry, they had to with my overall thoughts about you.

why are you so angry? actually, i know...and i still wish i could hug you...
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i have to say i think it's funny that you think what you think. my journal entry was a joke. i didn't do heroin if that's what you think. yeah i may be a little lost in this world. but who isn't??? i have my shit together enough to get by and enjoy it. isn't that what it's all...
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it's funny how much emotion can be lost in one person. lost completly.look at yer side that's all you'll remember of me. next time you want to die don't ever remember my number. call the love for chocolate.
dusty:
"ooh i loved not saying hello"

well well well fucking ally...looks like your life is heading in a most positive direction...looks like all those times you didn't want to smoke weed were saved for your heroin use...dang you are just too fucking cool for everyone but yourself.

and yes, i felt that pang of fucking hurt reading your last journal entry. so you hurt me, i hope that you are happy about that...and yes, you not saying hello hurt my feelings too.

there never was any chocolate milk...just a fantasy in my head. fantasy is all i know because i don't know how to live in reality.

i'm so sad right now. my heart hurts for me. and it hurts for you too. i don't understand why things need to be this way. but it all makes perfect sense.

i might be crazy, but you are an asshole and a name dropper and now a druggie lol.

i hope you find happiness because deep down you are just as lost and as scared as i am about life, you just know how to hide it better.

but that is funny too, because you think you are hiding it, but people can see through you.

and by the way, i don't think of you when i see my hearts. all it is is a cool idea that you inspired. and why the hell would i want to think of you when i look at them anyways??? the hearts are broken, as in the times where you really fucking tore me a new one.

but don't worry, i give you credit when people asked how they came about.

have a good life allyson.
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i have to say i suppose i know why everytime there is me it's only because there is something else. i know that all that is jumbled is because of others. yet i sort it out. call it love. call it a therapist. call it war. but just remember to call them. i think it's a beautiful thing.
brazil...hmmmm not sure about...
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