So, the day after that last post, I broke up with Darling for good. I felt panicky and shakey before it. Calling my mom and having her talk me out of it, then think about it, then support me. I hate it when she plays 'realistic' which is really just questioning my decisions long after the rationalizing was over. I was sitting in the park behind my house on the phone, and while walking back up to the house, I encountered Darling. He biked over because his dad borrowed his car. It was pretty quick, and very amicable. Im feeling less lost now. With him, I was content (kind of) and very really strove for anything. In our short break, I have made friends that matter to me, I have stepped pretty far outside of my comfort box, and I have found a great person I really connect with. I miss him dearly, and I miss the things we would do. Our cuddling, our wild sex, our dinners where we would laugh at everything... But I feel like our emotional connection maxed out when I told him about anything serious. My emotional and mental ailments and fears, he never understood. But he cared and hed give me a hug. Most of the time, he would say something close minded and a little mean, and then I would cry. So I stopped talking about those parts of my life. Now that I have Agent Black, I know I can talk about that stuff that Darling was so scared of. AB cares about me no matter what Im feeling and no matter my past. Its about time I had someone so great in my life.
Des
Des
alfaduetto:
After many disasterous relationships, I've found that you must have someone you can talk to about anything. If you have that, then everything else comes naturally. It appears you have found that, and that will be good for you. Houla hoops are good exercise as well, very pleasant to watch as well. 