Ok, so I know what you are thinking the thing is, she told me to do it. She wanted it, you see. Theres no judge in the world thatll convict me of some sorta noncrime event, which coulda happen to the freakin pope. Thats the truth. If I had it to do again, I would do it again. In a freakin second! And afterwards when Im riddled with regret, Id make my peace with my travel agent and get the crap outta there. In my new city I think I should like to be deputy or mayor. So now Im taking this time to talk to you as a registered voter, to consider me when thinking about sexual pleasures. Think of me as if I were there stroking my bulbous fingers through your overly tangled hair as you give way to the magic of pleasure. Ill be your David Copperfield if you be my voter (age 18 and up). Oh yeah I hope this ad campaign is working. Ill go to check the mail to see if Im mayor yet. Here, talk to Stanley.
STANLEY: WTF!!
Pre-Mayor: What are you up to Stanley?
STANLEY: Im gonna eatem with my bathwater, careful of the edge of chaos. It is coming to a theater near you and you are gonna be so freakin out of time! (by this time the pre-mayor has slipped off to find out the election results) Hey. Hey. Hey. (He says this and waves his hands trying to get my attention as if I werent looking straight at him) Hey, whats your worst nightmare? You wanna see it three inches from your face you fool? Cause I could do that in an instant or so its been written. In those books or pamphlets. The ones jesus and superman took and passed out at the air ports long before dinosaurs decided to create them(superman and jesus). And now Id like to try a little technique the boys call the sea. (He began pouring anything and everything, which could be poured according to gods laws of physics in the bible.)
Pre-Mayor: Well, theres no word yet but I think the lawn looks beautiful.
STANLEY: I used a lawnmower; that kind with the real working engine and the bubble exhaust. Its for the environment (While he spoke this time, hed calmed himself down greatly and taken on the air of someone satisfied with their work.)
Mayor: HEY look! My name! I won the freakin thing! Thats what that means! Oh my living goodness, I gotta go get some women. My dynasty will not end with me!!! There will be millions after me, and Ill out liveem all! Oh dearest me I feel faint. (He then proceeds to fall through a hole in the floor, laughing the whole way.)
STANLEY: Well that was wier(just then the mayor shot back out the hole and fainted till he was dead)whoa, what? Who? Huh? (in an obvious fit of sugar fueled hysteria Stanley calmly walked over to where the monkeys cage used to be and kicked the sleeping cat out of the indented circle in the shag carpeting.) Say what?!? ( and then he burped) BURP! Oh the god has given me my one and only wish! Thank you but I dont have any money to pay for this! (he yelled this up at the ceiling, like the god is up stairs looking around or something. The god had done that before though. Its cause then house was made of lead and he cant see through lead.)
-This could go on forever. Byee.
STANLEY: WTF!!
Pre-Mayor: What are you up to Stanley?
STANLEY: Im gonna eatem with my bathwater, careful of the edge of chaos. It is coming to a theater near you and you are gonna be so freakin out of time! (by this time the pre-mayor has slipped off to find out the election results) Hey. Hey. Hey. (He says this and waves his hands trying to get my attention as if I werent looking straight at him) Hey, whats your worst nightmare? You wanna see it three inches from your face you fool? Cause I could do that in an instant or so its been written. In those books or pamphlets. The ones jesus and superman took and passed out at the air ports long before dinosaurs decided to create them(superman and jesus). And now Id like to try a little technique the boys call the sea. (He began pouring anything and everything, which could be poured according to gods laws of physics in the bible.)
Pre-Mayor: Well, theres no word yet but I think the lawn looks beautiful.
STANLEY: I used a lawnmower; that kind with the real working engine and the bubble exhaust. Its for the environment (While he spoke this time, hed calmed himself down greatly and taken on the air of someone satisfied with their work.)
Mayor: HEY look! My name! I won the freakin thing! Thats what that means! Oh my living goodness, I gotta go get some women. My dynasty will not end with me!!! There will be millions after me, and Ill out liveem all! Oh dearest me I feel faint. (He then proceeds to fall through a hole in the floor, laughing the whole way.)
STANLEY: Well that was wier(just then the mayor shot back out the hole and fainted till he was dead)whoa, what? Who? Huh? (in an obvious fit of sugar fueled hysteria Stanley calmly walked over to where the monkeys cage used to be and kicked the sleeping cat out of the indented circle in the shag carpeting.) Say what?!? ( and then he burped) BURP! Oh the god has given me my one and only wish! Thank you but I dont have any money to pay for this! (he yelled this up at the ceiling, like the god is up stairs looking around or something. The god had done that before though. Its cause then house was made of lead and he cant see through lead.)
-This could go on forever. Byee.
0theamazingrando:
HEY YOU GUUUUYS! Damn right about the 80's thing. Congratulations on the uh... mayoral race... WTFtF! SPLOOT!