hallk

i somehow lost a kick ass blog about how i have given up on art. How i am making excuses cause i'm scared. How i'm playing too many video games to shelter me from what i could do. How rich kids made it into grad schools that don't deserve it and how my views have changed on gallery art. I hate high art now, it is so disconnected from the human condition. I'm sorry, but there is a curtain level of disconnection between art based off philosophy instead real life interactions.

wow i can't rewrite the blog again. it was one of the most passionate things i've written. Full of fucking anger and bullshit calling on me and the art world. The passion has left..... i can't capture it anymore... shit...
i realize what i need to do...... FUCKING FIGHT MY WAY BACK! Prove that i can make something of art and i'm not giving up. I haven't made a piece of art for about 6 months. This is bullshit. I would have died for it at one time. I was on a mission that need to be finished. If don't try, it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

oh well at least i got it out in the other blog. I was able to realize i'm being a fucking quitter and need to grow some fucking self esteem (sexiest term= FUCKING BALLS!). I need to fucking shit or get off the pot!

i've noticed i usually have to get pissed off the do stuff in life. i had to do it with with snowboarding. I had to get pissed at myself to get enough courage to do a crazy line, cliff or shout. Hopefully this sticks, so i can get a portfolio for grad school. I need to go, even if i want to fight its fucked up system.

This would make more sense if you had read the other blog.....