gypsymonster

I'm moving in 4 days back to my old house. I'll be glad to be out of my apt though. I won't be glad to drive farther to work and school again. I don't post that often, and when I do, it's always a lot of stuff. And for that, I apologize.

I have made some realizations about myself and the things around me over the past couple of days. Some that I don't really like. Maybe not realizations...but more of things that I have in my life that I've neglected to acknowledge for a while. And I always realize it when a semester is over...

I work way too much and I don't have enough of a social life. My friends that I consider my best friends, I don't see them until a semester is over in school and I realize how much I truly have missed them. I do my best to make time for people throughout the semester, but I get blown off. I realize that people are busy, but how hard is it, really...to meet someone for a cup of coffee and just catch up for a little bit? It's easy to do, not very time consuming, and if one of you has to leave, you can just call it and say I have to go. I feel that with my job, I have wasted away some of the best years of my life, but it will probably pay off in the end, but as for now...it's really hurt me mentally and emotionally I think. I have not been able to experience some of the other things people my age have gotten to. But granted, when it comes time for me to apply for a job, I could be competing for the same entry level position as someone else and they have the same degree as me. But they will see that they have either none, or very little job experience. But I will have kept the same job for around 6 years, 4 of those years being a manager. I'm at 4 years at the same job and 2 years as a manager currently. But by the time I'm done with college, it will be more like 6 or 7 years at my job, you get the picture. But it's very frustrating. It's not like I can cut back my hours either, because right now I am living in Knoxville, TN, and my parents moved to TX. I have lived her my whole life. I can't just drop my friends, the rest of my family, and school to go to TX. Not only that, but I love living on my own, and I will not live with my parents again, unless I absolutely have to.

And once again, I somehow always mention this. But I have the worst luck with girls. Why? Because as the infamous group on here states, dating sucks. I feel that I can't manage to find a girl that will even give me the time of day. I'm currently on my laptop while my friend Michaela is reading a book in my bed. She's just hanging out, and we're friends. But that's just it. I get thrown under the bus into the dreaded friend zone. Yes, that's where it is. Under the bus. I can't manage to go out on a date, but with the ones I am able to manage one with, it's as friends, or I got a date a few weeks ago after getting the courage to ask a girl out, but she had a boyfriend. But I've found that I am more and more hesitant to ask a girl out now that I have realized I'm a pretty big atheist. It's such a big barrier and an elephant in the room. So I just really am hesitant with it.

Done with Christmas shopping. So very glad. I got myself a gift today while I was at Borders getting gift cards. I got a copy of Soul Pancake by Rainn Wilson. He promoted it on Conan last week and I sat down to give it a bit of a read. One of the most brilliant books I have read. It is very witty. And it has answers to many of those things known as "life's big questions." It also is interactive and has places for you to write in it. I love it, please please PLEASE check it out whenever you are in a bookstore soon. Or take my word for it and order it.

Here...enjoy some music from a band I found on iTunes the other day. Chimp Spanner. Brilliant musicians. Head's up...they are instrumental.




I also started my 100 Day Photo Challenge on FB like Tenaciouss.