im exhausted. im losing control again. i have promised my self so many times that i will not do this anymore, that i have to change if i ever want to get anywhere in life, if i ever want to be happy.
i have decided that tomorrow is the 1st day of my new life. and yes i have said this to myself many, many times, but do u know why this time will be different? im gonna use this as a record. and all of u are my witnesses(of course im gonna need to find some time to talk to some more of u, so that theres not just 1 person that ever reads this). but anyway its like a public record, i am taking a stand and i am not giving up, and i will write my progress in here, so that way, not only do i have to know in my head that i fucked up, but anyone else can know if they so chose also.
maybe i should explain a little bit?
i dont even know where to start or what to explain. if anyone ever wants to know anything, ask, my life is an open book for the most part.
one thing, ive srtuggled w/eating disorders for years, i have it under control for the most part, but sometimes u slip. when i get exhausted like this is when that tends to happen, and i did binge today, but no more. i want to move to arizona(i can not take the cold here) but we made an extremly stupid and naive mistake and bought this house. not that buying a house is a bad idea, its not. we were just stupid about it. we bought a house that cost to much
we didnt realize how much the payments were going to be until the day of signing and we were already all excited so we signed anyway. then it turns out we should have looked at the house better cuz its a piece of shit. so now were poor, tried to sell the house, cant unless we fix it up, dont have money too. were so poor cuz of the house that we have to eat at my moms. (which is another thing i am trying despreatly to change) we cant even get food stamps cuz we make to much money
they dont take in to account ur bills. we want to have a baby but cant at the present time, lack of money, and some other personal things(this subject is closed at this time). oh and we both hate
our jobs.
so thats the situation summed up. and im not living this way anymore
. no i am not. and whoever reads this are my wittnesses.
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Gypsy116/pics/41315/1/[/IMG]
lood at me, i weigh like 145lbs here
, i am not doing that again.
Gypsy
i have decided that tomorrow is the 1st day of my new life. and yes i have said this to myself many, many times, but do u know why this time will be different? im gonna use this as a record. and all of u are my witnesses(of course im gonna need to find some time to talk to some more of u, so that theres not just 1 person that ever reads this). but anyway its like a public record, i am taking a stand and i am not giving up, and i will write my progress in here, so that way, not only do i have to know in my head that i fucked up, but anyone else can know if they so chose also.
maybe i should explain a little bit?
one thing, ive srtuggled w/eating disorders for years, i have it under control for the most part, but sometimes u slip. when i get exhausted like this is when that tends to happen, and i did binge today, but no more. i want to move to arizona(i can not take the cold here) but we made an extremly stupid and naive mistake and bought this house. not that buying a house is a bad idea, its not. we were just stupid about it. we bought a house that cost to much
so thats the situation summed up. and im not living this way anymore
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Gypsy116/pics/41315/1/[/IMG]
lood at me, i weigh like 145lbs here
Gypsy