1) Are you made of bleu cheese? I'm made of coffee and cheeseburgers.
2) Coke or PCP? I'm fucking straight edge! Except for booze and cigarettes.
3) Do you own an autographed photo of Paulie Shore? Eeeeew! FUCK NO!
4) What flavor Kool-Aid? That poison Jim Jones kind.
5) Hotdogs or hotcats? Hotdog... with mustard. I don't like the box of shit that comes with a hotcat.
6) Favorite TV show about hockey, at night, in Canada? Hockey Night in Canada.
7) Favorite movie about hockey, at night, in Canada? Sophie's Choice.
8) Morning drink? You think I'm an alcoholic?
9) Can you do a push-up? I don't fucking WANT to do a push up!
10) Favorite jewelry? What am I, Sammy Davis Jr or something? I don't know.. lets say rings. Rings are my favorite jewelry.
11) Favorite hobbylobby? I hate religious people.
12) Do you have ADHD: What's a DHD? HA HA! GET IT? I'm fucking hilarious!
13) Do you wear glasses as a disguise? No, because I have terrible eyesight.
14) Favorite cartoon character? Hank Hill
15) Three things you did today? Your mom, three times.
16) Three things you regularly drink when you're driving? See question number 8. Also, that's really irresponsible!
17) Current dis that you like? Shoe-sniffer! As in "Way to go, Shoe-sniffer!"
18) Favorite place to go to the toilet? Arizona. They have some nice toilets there.
19) How did you ring in the New Year? Your mom... three times.
20) Favorite place to travel after your divorce? Divorce itself is a vacation!
21) Nominate five people: Mario the Cop... um um um... Sid and Marty Croft.... what's that, three? Um... Mitch Mitchel, and Bozeman Montana!
22) Favorite skin color? wait a minute, what kind of test is this?
23) Do you like satan sheets? um.... no?
24) Why can't I whistle? Because you suck?
25) What am I doing right now? Asking me questions? WAIT. Wait a minute... you're not masturbating while you do that, are you?
26) Do you wish the pirate thing would just end already? Yes I do.
27) Favorite non-dog related hot food? Look, pal, I'm not gonna eat a fucking hotcat!
28) Last time you laughed at an old person? When I did your mom, three times!
29) Last time you stole flowers from a grave? Last night, how do you think I got your mom to sleep with me three times!
30) Most recent eye injury? That time I got poked in the eye.
31) How many pets are too many? I'm starting to think you're too irresponsible to own pets.
32) Worst pain in the ass? My brother's wife.
33) Do you like to dance, or do you like to fuck? Fuck, I guess.
35) Do you love my life? I don't know anything about you!
36) Summer or winter or my mom? Summer.
37) Grandmaster Flash and the children? I think it was "the Furious Five." I think.
38) Car or van or my mom? That mom joke got old a long time ago.
39) People person or another song by Pissed Jeans? Pissed Jeans has a lot of good songs, but People Person is pretty fucking cool.
40) Best day of my life: The day I got divorced!