I've had a lot of change in the past few months. I went from working in a 1,200 person creative agency to being employee number 10 in a small startup. I moved across the state, started taking better care of myself and started outwardly showing some of the things about myself that I have long worked hard to hide.
Part of me still feels like a bit of a fraud. I have really sizable body art (a half sleeve in progress) that hides under button down oxfords, and still have to peel off shirts and ties before I can toss on my Levis and wallet chain before throwing a leg over my motorcycle. I feel like I'm being more of myself when I do the things I do, but when people in my everyday life; my parents, my peers and even my wife see me outwardly being more of what I see as "me," I feel more more alone, introverted and awkward as I've ever felt before.
If I started to post this type of stuff anywhere else online, I'd feel overly exposed. For some reason this little corner of the Internet (which I spend my days and sleepless nights fixing and architecting most of the time) feels like a place I can hide in plain sight. No one would expect to find me here, posting to these databases and interacting with these lovely people.
I'm looking forward to the chance to try my own skin on again and maybe, just maybe, start to feel a little more like me.