guardian_

Today is just a day of bad vibes. I felt like crap this morning and now im getting a temp. Had to wake up at 5am to take my dad to his doctor appointment and what was supposed to just be a check up, but turned into a prep visit for yet another surgery. I mean in the past 2 years he's had over 6 surgeries. Now instead of fixing his knee they want to do a stomach staple to help him lose weight. What they don't seem to comprehend is that he barely eats as is. He might eat one small meal a day. What is causing all the complications with his health is the 17 plus different kinds of pills they have him on multiple times a day. It's already confirmed that they caused him to go into kidney failure, but not just once. He went into kidney failure 5 times in 2 years. On top of that he has blackouts, seizures, strokes, and heart problems. I'm tired of them not fixing the problems and just making them worse, but that's the veteran's hospital for you.

I'm just ready for all of this to be over. I'm ready for my dad to be done with surgeries and be able to live a normal life. Hell he can't even cook for himself anymore because most of the times he can't feel his hands or he gets so dizzy he can't stand. To top it all off they only gave him a 50% survival rate for his next surgery. The last surgery he had he didn't wake up for 3 days. He's really the only family I have left. My mom has told me on several occasions that me and him are an embarrassment to her. My sisters will only speak to me when they need money and I haven't even seen my brother in 10 years. I guess life just as a way of kicking you in the ass sometimes, but for once I would just like a break. It feels like i've been in an ever increasing battle since I was a child and the war has no end in sight.