Disappointment seems to be the only thing I feel.
The world outside; it seems so fake
Since nothing within is real.
To say I've lost it all, and that there's no way to return,
Would be a blatant lie, you see.
The Truth, I've yet to learn.
I gave it all away, to my new Gods; Drugs and Sex.
Despite the heartfelt warnings
Of my sweet embittered ex.
The choice is made, The Path thus laid,
I've only left to tread.
I'm told that if I keep it up,
Not long and I'd be dead.
Yet through it all, I heard the voice,
So harsh and full of Hate,
That quoth to me the same mantra
That I wish would abate:
"Fuck it all. You're gonna die.
So why drag out this pain?
Embrace The End on your own terms,
And let your Words remain."
These Words: they seek to permeate;
My Heart, My Mind, My Soul.
To make me lead a life I hate.
To make my blood run cold.
At night The Words solidify,
My mind begins to race.
My insomnia intensifies.
My thoughts are on the chase.
What did I do? Where'd I go wrong?
Why do I live this way?
Why can't I seem to fix myself,
And chase The Words away?
I could not count the times I've tried.
I always give My All.
I try so hard to make things right
Yet every time I fall.
No matter what I do or say,
I never get ahead.
It seems as if I'll hate my life,
Until the day I die.
This is not the life I wish to lead.
I seek to serve a purpose.
There must be something more for me.
This body can't be worthless.
I'm meant for so much more than this.
I feel it in My Soul.
And so I seek My One True Will,
My eyes search out My Goal.
I won't give in. I'll never quit.
Pursue it til I die.
Once I find My Path in Life,
I'll never step aside.
~Grr Galtovic (2010-2011)