There has been alot of soul-searching going on with me these last few weeks. More on that in just a moment. First, some lyrics from Joy Division.
Dead Souls
Someone take these dreams away
That point me to another day
A duel of personalities
That stretch all true reality
And keep calling me
They keep calling me
Keep on calling me
They keep calling me
When figures from the past stand tall
And mocking voices ring the hall
Imperialistic house of prayer
Conquistadores who took their share
And keep calling me
They keep calling me
Keep on calling me
They keep calling me
Calling me, calling me
They keep calling me
Keep on calling me
The keep calling me
Do you ever feel like you should be doing something more than you are? Helping others out? Rallying to the side of some just cause, perhaps? Maybe even just feeding a stray cat outside of your house once in awhile? Sometimes I feel like I'm missing the big picture the majority of the time. Wasting my skills, intelligence, and abilities on useless and meaningless things. Spending my thoughts and actions on selfish pursuits that don't even have real meaning for myself at the end of the day.
Im a writer, yet I hardly write anymore. I was a filmmaker, but I dont seem to ever get my new projects off of the starting block. Im a musician, but my instruments sit in the corner of my disheveled room collecting dust. I've got books sitting on my shelf that I bought years ago that I still havent read. I've lost contact with friends and family simply because I didnt find the time to write or call them back before they became unreachable. At work, I waste so much time on useless pursuits, it's almost a crime.
Bascially, I skate through life, day after day, month after month, year after year, doing the same thing: nothing. I see others that have continued the aspirations that I once dreamed of. I see people moving through their existence without as much concern or troubles as I seem to carry with me, in the form of huge pieces of luggage.
If I were to die today, what would people remember about me? My sloth? My incredulance? My un-achieved goals? My problems with life? Even worse, how many would even know that I had passed on? That's the kicker....
The funny thing is, I'm not in a sour mood today. It's just that these thoughts have been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile. Maybe putting them down is a form of therapy. Maybe I should have just written a review of 'I, Robot' instead. Cool flick, btw.
In the music box these past few days:
1.) Wig - Deliverance
2.) Judgement Night Soundtrack
3.) Love and Rockets - Earth, Sun, Moon
4.) Rev. Horton Heat - Spend a Night in the Box
5.) Seaweed - Actions and Indications
Dead Souls
Someone take these dreams away
That point me to another day
A duel of personalities
That stretch all true reality
And keep calling me
They keep calling me
Keep on calling me
They keep calling me
When figures from the past stand tall
And mocking voices ring the hall
Imperialistic house of prayer
Conquistadores who took their share
And keep calling me
They keep calling me
Keep on calling me
They keep calling me
Calling me, calling me
They keep calling me
Keep on calling me
The keep calling me
Do you ever feel like you should be doing something more than you are? Helping others out? Rallying to the side of some just cause, perhaps? Maybe even just feeding a stray cat outside of your house once in awhile? Sometimes I feel like I'm missing the big picture the majority of the time. Wasting my skills, intelligence, and abilities on useless and meaningless things. Spending my thoughts and actions on selfish pursuits that don't even have real meaning for myself at the end of the day.
Im a writer, yet I hardly write anymore. I was a filmmaker, but I dont seem to ever get my new projects off of the starting block. Im a musician, but my instruments sit in the corner of my disheveled room collecting dust. I've got books sitting on my shelf that I bought years ago that I still havent read. I've lost contact with friends and family simply because I didnt find the time to write or call them back before they became unreachable. At work, I waste so much time on useless pursuits, it's almost a crime.
Bascially, I skate through life, day after day, month after month, year after year, doing the same thing: nothing. I see others that have continued the aspirations that I once dreamed of. I see people moving through their existence without as much concern or troubles as I seem to carry with me, in the form of huge pieces of luggage.
If I were to die today, what would people remember about me? My sloth? My incredulance? My un-achieved goals? My problems with life? Even worse, how many would even know that I had passed on? That's the kicker....
The funny thing is, I'm not in a sour mood today. It's just that these thoughts have been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile. Maybe putting them down is a form of therapy. Maybe I should have just written a review of 'I, Robot' instead. Cool flick, btw.
In the music box these past few days:
1.) Wig - Deliverance
2.) Judgement Night Soundtrack
3.) Love and Rockets - Earth, Sun, Moon
4.) Rev. Horton Heat - Spend a Night in the Box
5.) Seaweed - Actions and Indications
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
you made me wake up late with all of last nights tomfoolery.
now i'm late for work.
BLAH