grimjack

I'm drunk, emotional, yet not pissed off. That means it's time for Bauhaus:

Dark Entries

Caressing bent up to the jug again
With sheaths and pills
Invading all those stills
In a hovel of a bed
I will scream in vain
Oh please, miss lane
Leave me with some pain
Went walking through this city's neon lights
In fear of disguising my warping seathing
Pressure lines and graceless heirs
Intangible of price
Trying so hard to find what? what was right
I came upon your room it stuck into my head
We leapt into the bed degrading even lice
You took delight in taking down
All my shielded pride
Until exposed became my darker side
Puckering up and down some avenue of sin
Too cheap to ride they're worth a try
If only for the old times, cold times
Don't go waving your pretentious love
He's soliciting on his tan brown brogues
Girating through some lonesome devils row
Pinpointing well meaning upper class prey
Of walking money checks possessing holes
He often sleekly offers his services
Exploitation of his finer years
Work with loosely woven fabrics
Of lonely office clerks
Any lay suffices his dollar green eye

The last few days have been definitely noteworthy. Yesterday, I missed Built To Spill at the Khyber due to a mild headache. Well, upon arriving home, that mild headache turned into a full-blown migraine. I felt like I was dying, honestly. I've had these harsh headaches most of my life, but this one really took the cake. I couldnt even lie down. I had to sit up in order to slow the throbbing, drill like pain behind my left eye. Then the nausia set in. Not good. Finally, by 3 am, the pain quelled, and I was able to lull myself into sleep. Niiiiiice...

So, I've been mulling this one over. Why the hell do I act like someone other than myself around different company? With certain people (both male and female) I seem to subconciously lose my sense of self, dropping off into a lusterless shell of my past identity. I dont speak the same, I dont think the same, and I become a soulless drone. I'm not talking about falling into the 'sheep' syndrome of following the crowd. it's like I cant talk anymore...things become difficult for me, and I just dont get it. After a few drinks or a few hours, I fall back into my little comfort zone, enabling me to feel like myself again. Maybe I should be talking to a shrink. I just dont know....

On a lighter note, the albums that I ordered from Subpop Records came in today, two days after I ordered . Sweet...they even included a free comp album of some of their latest bands/releases. Free music is always good. Ah well..off to sleep.