:::dream world:::
I cant start from the beginning because i forget where it was...I was at my aunts house taking a shower outside by a car for some reason. I turned and looked into the car and there was some kids in there watching me and flipping out. So i scared them.
Before I know it my uncle is not talking to me, my mom thinks i'm insane. Everyone is questioning me about why i was in a porno. I dont really understand what is happening and iget really angry. I end up screaming at everyone and running off. I hide somehwere and hear my mom talking to a psychitraist about me. There saying i'm insane and they have to put me on all these pills because i'm violent and i'm a pornstar. sounds funny but in the dream it was scarry. they say i cant know i'm taking all these pills because i'll refuse to take them and become more violent and ill. theres like 6 to begin with. some to control my mood, others for my outbursts and tendency to threaten people.
i get very upset and run away again.
somehow there is this transition and now i nkow im running for my life. its a conspiracy.
i'm at my moms house now and i'm running to my neighbors. my mom and the doctor are chasing me with a car. he wants to put me in some hospital. i hide under teh deck. they catch me and bring me to this house. there are other people here too. some drooling on eachother. some naked but all beautiful. everyone is dazed.
i act out and they sedate me.
i'm not really sure what happens next but there is some type of transition and i realize this is no nut house, this is some guy just collecting people to rape and murder them on video. some sick smut factory.
there is a girl there who is in love with the doctor. she does everything to stay in good graces. he is planning to kill her next.
there is someone who hands me 3 sets of keys. they are to the cars outside in the front yard. i have a chance to excape. then the dr is home and hes coming up the stairs to where i am.
i run and hide under a bed. the doctor brings the girl into the room, strips her and makes her stand at the foot of the bed. he takes all the sheets off the bed and sets them at the foot. I try to hide beneath the huge bed, i know if he looks down he'll see me. I curl into some of the covers to hide myself not thinking he would take them with them. the girls is unshered out of the room to some other place and the blankets are picked up and i struggle to untangle myself without him hearing me. he looks under the bed to see what is holding them up and sees me. he calls for people to come get me and i just get up and run. i make it ouside and realize there are others hiding too. now i'm in the basement.
there are people down there. they usher me into a group of others and strip me.
i'm about to be used as some kind of sex toy. somehow the attention is focused away from all of us and i manage to get away. but now i'm naked and have no where to go. then
my alarm goes off.
::wake up:::
WHAT THE FUCK!?
ya know, i have strange fucking dreams. and this was one long continuious dream as far as i know. i was still in taht lucid state when my alarm went off so i went back to bed cause i was so tired. the dream picked up again but i dont remember where.
now im' havign that panicy anxious feel about the people who were in it. is everyone plotting against me?
no. this feeling will subside soon.
there was another strange part that i dont know if it was related but it makes me sad and nervous.
two people i really care about were in it. one i dated forever and the other i really care about. i dont know what happened in the dream but none of us were talking (partly true in real life)...
i went to my old house i grew up in and they pulled up there also. i said hello. the guy i dated forever said hi, the other one i'm in love with ididnt. in my dream i felt my heart tighten. he just shook his head at me in disaproval. i still dont understand that.
i tried to talk to him later and he just said he didnt want to talk to me. he wanted nothing to do with me. in my dream i felt pretty alone and hurt.
there were some otehr exchanges between us in the dream...all of them made me sad. he would talk to everyone else but me.
in real life, i havnt talked to the x in about 2 months. i still feel bad about it because part of me feels like ive given up on him. in my head i know i cant do anything to help him because he dosent want to help himself. he dosent care.
i also dont think anyone undersatnds that i cant sit back and watch him do nothing with himself. i know he can do more that. it feels like watching a train wreck.
as far as the other friendship....i have no idea what is going on with that. he dosent call me back so...yeah. its pretty annoying. hes just really busy with everything in his life. still hurts my feelings though.
anyway...off to work
I cant start from the beginning because i forget where it was...I was at my aunts house taking a shower outside by a car for some reason. I turned and looked into the car and there was some kids in there watching me and flipping out. So i scared them.
Before I know it my uncle is not talking to me, my mom thinks i'm insane. Everyone is questioning me about why i was in a porno. I dont really understand what is happening and iget really angry. I end up screaming at everyone and running off. I hide somehwere and hear my mom talking to a psychitraist about me. There saying i'm insane and they have to put me on all these pills because i'm violent and i'm a pornstar. sounds funny but in the dream it was scarry. they say i cant know i'm taking all these pills because i'll refuse to take them and become more violent and ill. theres like 6 to begin with. some to control my mood, others for my outbursts and tendency to threaten people.
i get very upset and run away again.
somehow there is this transition and now i nkow im running for my life. its a conspiracy.
i'm at my moms house now and i'm running to my neighbors. my mom and the doctor are chasing me with a car. he wants to put me in some hospital. i hide under teh deck. they catch me and bring me to this house. there are other people here too. some drooling on eachother. some naked but all beautiful. everyone is dazed.
i act out and they sedate me.
i'm not really sure what happens next but there is some type of transition and i realize this is no nut house, this is some guy just collecting people to rape and murder them on video. some sick smut factory.
there is a girl there who is in love with the doctor. she does everything to stay in good graces. he is planning to kill her next.
there is someone who hands me 3 sets of keys. they are to the cars outside in the front yard. i have a chance to excape. then the dr is home and hes coming up the stairs to where i am.
i run and hide under a bed. the doctor brings the girl into the room, strips her and makes her stand at the foot of the bed. he takes all the sheets off the bed and sets them at the foot. I try to hide beneath the huge bed, i know if he looks down he'll see me. I curl into some of the covers to hide myself not thinking he would take them with them. the girls is unshered out of the room to some other place and the blankets are picked up and i struggle to untangle myself without him hearing me. he looks under the bed to see what is holding them up and sees me. he calls for people to come get me and i just get up and run. i make it ouside and realize there are others hiding too. now i'm in the basement.
there are people down there. they usher me into a group of others and strip me.
i'm about to be used as some kind of sex toy. somehow the attention is focused away from all of us and i manage to get away. but now i'm naked and have no where to go. then
my alarm goes off.
::wake up:::
WHAT THE FUCK!?
ya know, i have strange fucking dreams. and this was one long continuious dream as far as i know. i was still in taht lucid state when my alarm went off so i went back to bed cause i was so tired. the dream picked up again but i dont remember where.
now im' havign that panicy anxious feel about the people who were in it. is everyone plotting against me?
no. this feeling will subside soon.
there was another strange part that i dont know if it was related but it makes me sad and nervous.
two people i really care about were in it. one i dated forever and the other i really care about. i dont know what happened in the dream but none of us were talking (partly true in real life)...
i went to my old house i grew up in and they pulled up there also. i said hello. the guy i dated forever said hi, the other one i'm in love with ididnt. in my dream i felt my heart tighten. he just shook his head at me in disaproval. i still dont understand that.
i tried to talk to him later and he just said he didnt want to talk to me. he wanted nothing to do with me. in my dream i felt pretty alone and hurt.
there were some otehr exchanges between us in the dream...all of them made me sad. he would talk to everyone else but me.
in real life, i havnt talked to the x in about 2 months. i still feel bad about it because part of me feels like ive given up on him. in my head i know i cant do anything to help him because he dosent want to help himself. he dosent care.
i also dont think anyone undersatnds that i cant sit back and watch him do nothing with himself. i know he can do more that. it feels like watching a train wreck.
as far as the other friendship....i have no idea what is going on with that. he dosent call me back so...yeah. its pretty annoying. hes just really busy with everything in his life. still hurts my feelings though.
anyway...off to work
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
what happened to the set you posted? i wanna see it again!
[Edited on Jun 03, 2004 4:38PM]
Other than that, don't let the worry get to you ( and make more of that stomach acid