ive decided i need to take up a drug habit...or start smoking weed.. or something.
i called some shrinks today cause i cant handle all the crazy crap in my life and i need someone to talk to. im just doing too much, i dont get to vent because i trust only a few people to vent too... and most of them are so busy i feel bad when i call them. i dunno... =/
i need to learn to just relax and have fun and enjoy my time being a fuckin kid. i'm 22 and i think im 50...and i dont relax long enough to even have fun when im out with people unless i know you pretty well. maybe i have social anxiety disorder?
shit ill spill my guts on here.....i might as well pull some samurai shit and gut myself on a table for everyone to see...
its not that im not an open person. i just dont .. hell i dont know what it is.
i was talking to a friend about it last night (one that i flipped out on for not calling me back...yeah people should call you back when they say they are going too, but why do i get all hysterical over it?? ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A FUCKING DEAL!)...
uh.. where was i?
oh yeah.. so i was talking to him about stuff and he told me i act like i'm 40..
i dont wanna act like taht. i think i'm a pretty bouncy, giddy, hyper, entertaining person when i'm in one of those care free moods.. which i seem to be having a lot lately. i just hate coming home and being alone.
heres some simple observations ive been making about myself:
-i do too much stuff
-i try to do the right thing for me and my future...even though it seems to suck a lot of the time
-i feel betrayed by people over simple things..but i really dont think that my expectations in friendship are anything out of the ordinary.
-i push myself pretty hard
-i decline social situations when people im not very good friends with are not there
-i really really miss my cat and i feel pretty left alone now that hes gone.
-i want and need human contact, i need to talk to people, and i need to feel that someone gives a shit about me. i think i feel rejected by my friends a lot becasue .. uhh i dunno why.. but i feel neglected a lot lately.
-i push people away when they do simple things like not call me back or call me for a while. i feel like im always the one calling them or like they dont want to put anything into the friendship.
-i really really want to be in a relationship even though i know i'm not ready for one yet.. i think i'm afraid of being alone abd becoming the old cat lady...my friends tease me about that. at least i'll be a wealthy cool old cat lady.
yeah i could go on but i need to finish that history paper and do some journals for ethics. i fuckin hate that class. i need to go to the gym later too..
THATS RIGHT BITCHES!!! I FINISHED THAT HISTORY PAPER! WHOO!
i called some shrinks today cause i cant handle all the crazy crap in my life and i need someone to talk to. im just doing too much, i dont get to vent because i trust only a few people to vent too... and most of them are so busy i feel bad when i call them. i dunno... =/
i need to learn to just relax and have fun and enjoy my time being a fuckin kid. i'm 22 and i think im 50...and i dont relax long enough to even have fun when im out with people unless i know you pretty well. maybe i have social anxiety disorder?
shit ill spill my guts on here.....i might as well pull some samurai shit and gut myself on a table for everyone to see...
its not that im not an open person. i just dont .. hell i dont know what it is.
i was talking to a friend about it last night (one that i flipped out on for not calling me back...yeah people should call you back when they say they are going too, but why do i get all hysterical over it?? ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A FUCKING DEAL!)...
uh.. where was i?
oh yeah.. so i was talking to him about stuff and he told me i act like i'm 40..
i dont wanna act like taht. i think i'm a pretty bouncy, giddy, hyper, entertaining person when i'm in one of those care free moods.. which i seem to be having a lot lately. i just hate coming home and being alone.
heres some simple observations ive been making about myself:
-i do too much stuff
-i try to do the right thing for me and my future...even though it seems to suck a lot of the time
-i feel betrayed by people over simple things..but i really dont think that my expectations in friendship are anything out of the ordinary.
-i push myself pretty hard
-i decline social situations when people im not very good friends with are not there
-i really really miss my cat and i feel pretty left alone now that hes gone.
-i want and need human contact, i need to talk to people, and i need to feel that someone gives a shit about me. i think i feel rejected by my friends a lot becasue .. uhh i dunno why.. but i feel neglected a lot lately.
-i push people away when they do simple things like not call me back or call me for a while. i feel like im always the one calling them or like they dont want to put anything into the friendship.
-i really really want to be in a relationship even though i know i'm not ready for one yet.. i think i'm afraid of being alone abd becoming the old cat lady...my friends tease me about that. at least i'll be a wealthy cool old cat lady.
yeah i could go on but i need to finish that history paper and do some journals for ethics. i fuckin hate that class. i need to go to the gym later too..
THATS RIGHT BITCHES!!! I FINISHED THAT HISTORY PAPER! WHOO!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
cc_baxter:
not that it really counts for all that much but we care. Turtle Dee and Turtle Dum care. The fishies care alot. Mr. Styles doesn't care, but then he doesn't care for me either, he's just using me for food. Furry little freeloader. 
pyrate:
You know if you ever need to vent you can call me, don't feel like it's an inconvenience for me, we're friends, that's what we are there for. 