grayce

bored.
rockin out to Him.. Just got the singles boxset.. im copying them all onto my HDrive for safe keeping.

i cleaned my fish tank yesterday. it looks all perty again. i think the fish are happier too.

i want to move to another country. ive decided that america is fucking stupid. i want to move to some other country where people arnt so nuts, they value eachother, ...im so idealistic.

my bubble i lived in is slowly deflating. i poked a hole in it sometime earlier this year and ive been working on deflating it but its kind of falling on my head right now so its starting to bother me.

So i now realize that you really cant trust other people. people are going to talk mostly because they are insecure or dont understand what you are doing.
dont tell anyone anything you dont want known or dont want to deal with later.. even if at the moment, it seems like a good idea or that you can open up to them.

Dont have expectations for other people. ive always had these expectations for my friends, partners, parents, etc.. things that i never thought were unreasonable.. mostly having to do with trust, honesty, loyalty, all those chivalrious qualaties you want others to see you as..i never thought those expectations were unreasonable. now i realize that the simple act of holding expectations is just setting yourself up for hurt, pain, and dissapointment.

Realize that nothing is certian or forever, exept death. :::eats jellybeans::: people are going to dissapoint you, leave you, friendships will disolve, love will dissapate, and family will dissapear. if you cant learn to make yourself happy, your fucked.

i'm such a pesimist.

i have a cankersore on my gum.. which means i'm stressed out or im not eating right.. i had chipolte today.. again. so i must just need more sleep.

So my next project after finishing my garden outside is to redecorate my apt. i want it to be eastern/asian/arabic themed. im not going to go too nuts with this i just want to put some panneling in my bedroom and lots of pillows around. my bedroom is really the only room i want to do this way. its currently has striped walls with hanging candle shelve thingies... i just want some drapes and more plants i think. id also love to get some hanging baskets to put some pink jasmine vines in..i had some last year but i killed em (i have no green thumb but im trying to grow one).

yeah i also need to keep working on the garden in the back. its still mostly non existant. nothing has germinated yet. i planted lavender, catnip, some taller perenieals, and some humingbird garden mix thingy.. on the side of the building im going to put up trellaces and plant white and purple morning glories as well as some evening blooming vines. i hope they grow!
if i had a lot of money id do a lot more heh...we'll see .. someday though!

ok now that ive had several random themes in this journal its time to say goodbye once again... tata