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grayblue

syracuse, indy & b-town, in

Member Since 2002

Followers 58 Following 49

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Friday May 30, 2003

May 30, 2003
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watching the movie "donnie darko" brings me to the verge of tears.
how would i describe myself?
donnie darko + max cohen (from Pi) + charlie kaufman (from Adaptation) + barry egan (from Punch Drunk Love) + Paul (from CQ)... does that seem conceited?
i have these moments of brilliant clarity... where my mind spins like a dervish, spewing truth into the void, but the moments don't last, and i lose it all...
i have moments where i experience deja vu, but it seems like more than that... like a milemarker telling me i'm going the right way... and in that instant where i know i've been there before, where i know i've experienced that instant before, a flash occurs in my mind... a flash which tells me exactly how long it's been, that is to say, exactly when it was that i had that dream in which i saw exactly what i see before me...
second-long eons where i feel as though i have something inside me that could simultaneously destroy and create the entire world...
days where i become so scared of myself and my own mind that i lie on the couch, begging for... something...
hours alone where i weep because i have a sense that at some point in time, i will either go insane or become great...
have you seen your own grave? i have. it scared the shit out of me.
but most of the time i feel as though i have no idea who i am, or what i'm doing... and when i feel as though i do know who i am, i become very, very afraid.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
recidivi5t:
maybe you're god's new golden boy here to set fire to the world as we know it and burn a sign into the sky that says "_____________ . " you fill in the blank....but without thinking about it.

brokeback is the bizomb.
May 31, 2003
a35mmlife:
smart boy. whatcha working on (you can email if you dont wanna post)...
May 31, 2003

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