gory

Greetings Boils and Ghouls!!

I remember My Last Entry from Before I got The Phonecall to jump on A Plane and Rush home to Try and Catch My Mother before she went...I was Unsuccessful, But I remember that I had posed A few questions Dealing with The 7 Deadly Sins...

Well, I am not comin' back atcha with anything Like That...Oh No, No...

If Y'all remember, I had not answered My own Querries, As I was not only in The Midst of Packing to Move from My Studio...But I also knew I was going to have to just keep the whole issue with coming back here to see her before she passed was also in effect...

I missed her, and I only got to hug and Kiss her cold Dead Body Before they closed the Casket...It was Harsh Indeed...

But, I am made of 'Harsh'. I have Always been Independant, I left home @15 to escape into A world of The Unknown...I worked to make sure I had A roof over my head whilst still attending school...and I also continued to do so Thru Film School, But unfortunately, My Health condition just could not support My rigorous routine of holding down 3 Jobs whilst attending University full time...Doctors Orders changed ALL that for me...I was putting myself into A wheelchair, and If I did not slow down, That is where I would be...So Obviously, I slowed down, Yet I moved to Vancouver, with A Job waiting for me at One of Vancouver's Finest Piercing Parlors, As I had already been doing it for more than 3 years...

But That ended when I delved Into Heroin and Being in A Band...For almost 6 years I was A genuine Junkie, and I am proud to say that even though I am no longer on Junk, I have been clean from any Illegal Pharmaceuticals (Hey, Remember Pot is Legal in Vancouver, and Apparently So is Heroin now...Go Figure...I won't be needing it tho...Thank You...I am very Happy to no longer have that chain around My ankle...)I am proud I am 5 years clean.

But I am also Very Frightened now...And THIS is where the 7 Deadly Sins comes into Play...

I have always been quite Proud of My Independance, Never relying on Anyone to Support me, or do anything for me...I have always preffered and cherished the Lessons I learned from My mistakes, and How it turned something awful into A useful tool...Thats what Mistakes are for..They are Useless otherwise...

But I have Not made A Mistake on this one...

And The Lesson I am going to learn is WAY too large right now for me to see just what I am going to learn...Of Course I am Speaking of That awful Sin about The Coloured Paper...Thats right...Tht fucking Avarice...I have NEVER had to Deal with Having A Large Sum of Money suddenly changing The way I Live...And lemme tell ya...I HATE fuckin $$$...

Now I know what some of you may be thinking to yourself...

"What? You are A Fuckin' Blaspheming Hedonist!! You are A Self Declared Heretic, and also one that is not hard to Recognize!! How can One whom walks The Left Hand Path Have Any concern with Breaking One of The 7 Fuckin' Sins , declared By A God you Have never believed in?? C'MON!"

And you would Be Right...That, IS indeed what I am...However, I am concerned...I do not want this Filthy Money to change me...What I DO wish to do is Use it in Some way, which has yet to be decided, To preserve The One Constant Love and Loyalty I feel I am entitled to Stay True to...and That, My Fiends, Is Horror...

That is where I plan to make my largest Investment, Just as I was before, But Now, I have the Opportunity to gather up TAA's Finest Interested Grey Matter, and Allow it to Blossom into something That Kicks Ass...

But, That does not make me feel better about having ALL this new found fortune...Thats why Death can become so Dirty...People All of A sudden turn into Growling Beasts before the Body is already in the Ground...At lest from watching My parents go through it with thier kin...It has Never been pretty...and it is no difference here...People turn Into Those Quick and Nasty Bloodsucking Zombies over $$$, and I HATE it!!

I am not going to go on...I think you can see where My Dilemma Lies...and It seems as though If I cannot answer my Own querries I posed in that last Journal I wrote before My Mother's Death, then I certainly would be tellin' the Truth when I say to you all, I am a Tad worried...

I am in an awful Mental Bind...and I never wanted to have to deal with this kind of Problem, or feelings that are only natural about it...But I do feel that If I use it correctly...I should not have to deal with any Consequences...

But we all know that there is No such thing, as A Fucking Action without consequences...

I may have just learned that I am descended from The Knights Templar, and That our Family Has A Castle in France that bears our Name...But Shit...I am still just that struggling Horror Mistress from Ohio, and I still feel just As white trash as I have always...

Too bad things are going to change now...Should I be Happy? or just plain Frightened?

I think I am beginning to get TOO personal in here...I cannot wait to get back to my new Home in Van...


Anyhow...As you can see I am quite confused right now...As well as rushed as this is not my computer...I will leave it at this for The time being, and Add another bit or something when I am not being rushed...

I am going to try and come and Visit ALL you whom know I should be...Until then...


,SS



!!!!!!!UPDATE!!!!!!!!

LilMiSsMorBiD Is BACK it Looks LIKE!!! And I am SOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOoooOOOO Happy!!!
And I have Just FINALLY Purchased A 4000$ PC...SO I HAVE THEE POWER!!!
DAMN! Am I supposed to Be THIS Happy??? See What I mean??
*Covers Eyes and Pretends Not to See Lke EVERYONE else on This Wretched Rock!*

SS