I'm reposting my journal with some of the same stuff, some of the new stuff. I feel like I didn't say enough yet I said too much. You can read back to the other 2 journals I posted today but I warn you, they're not happy.
As for that, I feel like a fool for being so damned confident and trusting. Today feels strange. I didn't sleep much last night, so I have an aching body to match my aching heart. Actually, it's the pit of my stomach that's all wrenched up like a small hard rubber ball. I still don't know what I'm going to do about that. You want to know? Of course you want to know. Details aside, I will just say that someone close to me hurt me.
Things are not all bad, though. Yesterday me and Gadget had an Amazing Adventure. There are pictures. You will see them. Gadget has quite a flair for direction. ("Okay, now take 2 big steps this way... put your arm up...") Haha.
By the way, the profile picture is from the National Rainbow Gathering in Montana, July 2000. Next week Gadget is going with me to WV to this year's National Gathering. We'll be hanging out with hippies, eating lots of sprouts, and shitting in the woods. Yay!
There was just a report of a couple of people killed by grizzlies in Alaska. It's not Steve and Holly, thank goodness.
I miss my Holly especially today. I am going to try to call her soon... I need to cry on her shoulder a little. She knows me better than anyone. Maybe she can tell me what to do next.
As for that, I feel like a fool for being so damned confident and trusting. Today feels strange. I didn't sleep much last night, so I have an aching body to match my aching heart. Actually, it's the pit of my stomach that's all wrenched up like a small hard rubber ball. I still don't know what I'm going to do about that. You want to know? Of course you want to know. Details aside, I will just say that someone close to me hurt me.
Things are not all bad, though. Yesterday me and Gadget had an Amazing Adventure. There are pictures. You will see them. Gadget has quite a flair for direction. ("Okay, now take 2 big steps this way... put your arm up...") Haha.
By the way, the profile picture is from the National Rainbow Gathering in Montana, July 2000. Next week Gadget is going with me to WV to this year's National Gathering. We'll be hanging out with hippies, eating lots of sprouts, and shitting in the woods. Yay!
There was just a report of a couple of people killed by grizzlies in Alaska. It's not Steve and Holly, thank goodness.
I miss my Holly especially today. I am going to try to call her soon... I need to cry on her shoulder a little. She knows me better than anyone. Maybe she can tell me what to do next.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
I sitting here reading the stuff that you have gone through the last couple of days and thinking what I have been through. The opposite ends of the spectrum. Ive been in a positive mood for almost a week now (a record) and because of it I know that what ever happens youll be OK. Remember a few weeks ago and the crush of stuff you had facing you. Papers due, exams to write work and all you wanted was to sit around with a beer and watch the sun fade, you made it through all that right? Emotionally I know that the last couple of days have been much different then a bunch of deadlines but really, your one of the loveliest people I know, and if I know it over the internet then Im sure theyll be lots of people wanting to help you out and one wholl really just want you.
I once thought if hindsight were foresight just think how boring life would be. I suppose if we had taken up your first offer to meet when you suggested it it might have happened. No one really had the foresight of what the last couple of months would be like. Were heading off to Paris this evening, and as you now we dont really have a timetable to return. So I dont know when well be live and in person sharing a beer or something but at some point we will be back on this continent.
I hope the next few days get better for you and sooner rather then later you hook up with that person who just wants you.
All our love
Boy an Doc