'God' Apparently Responds to Lawsuit
2007-09-21 17:30:00
The Associated Press
By NATE JENKINS Associated Press Writer
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) _ A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.
"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here _ poof!" Friend said.
State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody.
Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.
It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.
"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.
There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.
Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.
World's Oldest Man Hopes to Live Forever
2007-09-18 16:30:01
The Associated Press
By CHISAKI WATANABE Associated Press Writer
TOKYO (AP) _ The world's oldest man celebrated his 112th birthday Tuesday, saying he hoped to live forever. Born Sept. 18, 1895, Tomoji Tanabe was named world's oldest male after the death of Emiliano Mercado Del Toro of Puerto Rico. He died in January at age 115. On Tuesday, the mayor of Miyakonojo City, where Tanabe lives, presented him with a bouquet and a letter of congratulations.
When the mayor asked how many more years Tanabe wanted to live, Tanabe replied, "for infinity," according to city official Yasuo Yamashita.
With his ascetic lifestyle, Tanabe has a good shot at living for at least a little longer.
A former city land surveyor who lives with his son and daughter-in-law, Tanabe is in good health and is known to guzzle milk. He also keeps a diary, avoids alcohol, and does not smoke.
Japan has one of the world's longest average life spans, a factor often attributed to a healthy diet rich in fish and rice.
The number of Japanese living beyond 100 has almost quadrupled in the past 10 years, with the once-exclusive centenarian club soon expected to surpass 28,000, the government announced in September.
The country's centenarian population is expected to reach nearly 1 million _ the world's largest _ by 2050, according to U.N. projections.
The increase underscores both positive and negative sides of the country's aging population. While experts say there are more active centenarians than before, the rapidly graying population adds to concerns over Japan's overburdened public pension system.
The world's oldest person, 114-year-old Edna Parker of Shelbyville, Ind., was born on April 20, 1893, according to Guinness World Records.
Mystery of the Wandering Zebra Solved
2007-09-18 19:00:00
The Associated Press
MUSKOGEE, Okla. (AP) _ The mystery of the wandering zebra has been solved. Sharon McConough, who lives in the Ranger Creek area east of Fort Gibson Dam, was startled on Friday when she spotted a zebra trotting on her driveway. She took a photo of the animal to prove she wasn't seeing things.
Turns out the zebra, whose name is Norman, is the pet of Amy Saxon, who has a lake house in the area and raises Arabian horses. Nobody is sure how he escaped.
Saxon began driving around looking for him after she discovered he was gone, said Cindy Elsey, whose husband, Steve Elsey, helps take care of Saxon's animals.
"We go 'whoop, whoop, whoop' and he comes," Cindy Elsey said. "Norman's a mama's boy. When he hears Amy's voice he starts coming and honking. He loves his mama."
Norman returned from his adventure with only a few scratches.
"The zebra is like a spoiled brat," Cindy Elsey said. "I don't think he knows he's a zebra."
She said Norman is Saxon's "baby."
"He goes everywhere she goes, except to Arabian shows because he's such a distraction," she said.
One of Saxon's trainers had zebras and she bought Norman before he was born.
"When he was a baby, we used to let him come in the house," Elsey said. "He liked to nudge things, pick them up and put them down. He's always messing with things."
2007-09-21 17:30:00
The Associated Press
By NATE JENKINS Associated Press Writer
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) _ A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.
"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here _ poof!" Friend said.
State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody.
Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.
It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.
"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.
There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.
Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.
World's Oldest Man Hopes to Live Forever
2007-09-18 16:30:01
The Associated Press
By CHISAKI WATANABE Associated Press Writer
TOKYO (AP) _ The world's oldest man celebrated his 112th birthday Tuesday, saying he hoped to live forever. Born Sept. 18, 1895, Tomoji Tanabe was named world's oldest male after the death of Emiliano Mercado Del Toro of Puerto Rico. He died in January at age 115. On Tuesday, the mayor of Miyakonojo City, where Tanabe lives, presented him with a bouquet and a letter of congratulations.
When the mayor asked how many more years Tanabe wanted to live, Tanabe replied, "for infinity," according to city official Yasuo Yamashita.
With his ascetic lifestyle, Tanabe has a good shot at living for at least a little longer.
A former city land surveyor who lives with his son and daughter-in-law, Tanabe is in good health and is known to guzzle milk. He also keeps a diary, avoids alcohol, and does not smoke.
Japan has one of the world's longest average life spans, a factor often attributed to a healthy diet rich in fish and rice.
The number of Japanese living beyond 100 has almost quadrupled in the past 10 years, with the once-exclusive centenarian club soon expected to surpass 28,000, the government announced in September.
The country's centenarian population is expected to reach nearly 1 million _ the world's largest _ by 2050, according to U.N. projections.
The increase underscores both positive and negative sides of the country's aging population. While experts say there are more active centenarians than before, the rapidly graying population adds to concerns over Japan's overburdened public pension system.
The world's oldest person, 114-year-old Edna Parker of Shelbyville, Ind., was born on April 20, 1893, according to Guinness World Records.
Mystery of the Wandering Zebra Solved
2007-09-18 19:00:00
The Associated Press
MUSKOGEE, Okla. (AP) _ The mystery of the wandering zebra has been solved. Sharon McConough, who lives in the Ranger Creek area east of Fort Gibson Dam, was startled on Friday when she spotted a zebra trotting on her driveway. She took a photo of the animal to prove she wasn't seeing things.
Turns out the zebra, whose name is Norman, is the pet of Amy Saxon, who has a lake house in the area and raises Arabian horses. Nobody is sure how he escaped.
Saxon began driving around looking for him after she discovered he was gone, said Cindy Elsey, whose husband, Steve Elsey, helps take care of Saxon's animals.
"We go 'whoop, whoop, whoop' and he comes," Cindy Elsey said. "Norman's a mama's boy. When he hears Amy's voice he starts coming and honking. He loves his mama."
Norman returned from his adventure with only a few scratches.
"The zebra is like a spoiled brat," Cindy Elsey said. "I don't think he knows he's a zebra."
She said Norman is Saxon's "baby."
"He goes everywhere she goes, except to Arabian shows because he's such a distraction," she said.
One of Saxon's trainers had zebras and she bought Norman before he was born.
"When he was a baby, we used to let him come in the house," Elsey said. "He liked to nudge things, pick them up and put them down. He's always messing with things."
doxie:
Hey, thanks for commenting on my set 
dizzy:
Yeah, i'm not bad looking. For a guy. Collectors are pretty creepy dude.