So yeah, today has totally fucked my shit up mentally.

I was reading the paper this morning before work like I do once in awhile and my eyes caught on a name I reckonized.

I just saw "Stockton businessman Tony Monagham" and at first they were talking more about his internet/computer shop he has made into something pretty decent in the area.....but no...he's dead.

I remember being woken up to police and ambulance sirens and thinking nothing of it really...

I guess he was on his way to do something at work and lost control of his car outside of town on some ice and his car rolled into a barn. He died in the crash from severe trauma.

I've known the guy for 10 years or more now....while not really a friend or anybody I saw real often....he was the guy who first got me into computers and the internet. He used to work on my computer for free when I had a total pile of shit for a long time that would always break. Actually, he's worked on every one of my computers in some way or another come to think of it, even this one. The amazing thing about all this, on more than one occasion, he'd come to my house to work on it, the same day I called, maybe stay for a cup of coffee and some cookies....shoot the shit with me...and he never ever charged me a dime, not even for parts or labor.

I remember hanging out with him back in the day when I was like 13 or 14 along with one of the guys who currently works for him, Derek. The three of us used to always shoot the shit and play Super Nintendo and shit like that. He was always a huge geek, but he was totally himself no matter who was around and that always made him seem really cool at the same time.

The biggest mind fuck in all this is that Saturday night I was talking about the guy and that I should call him today and find out if he can get me hooked up to broadband so I don't have to use dial up.

The weather outside is a good reflection of how I feel inside....it's ice cold sleet pouring down covering everything in ice.

I guess I was closer to him than I thought....