go_lately

hee hee there is now an official "pierce phaedra's nipples" fund. i have a paypal account ~ phaedraeos@aol.com that you can use if you want for some ungodly reason to give me money.

talk about board whoring . . .

i had a dream last night about a boy i've dreamt about once before. i don't know him at all; he's a member of this site but i've barely spoken to him. in both dreams we try and we almost but we don't. the first one we had to keep running, moving, searching for something. this morst recent one we were supposed to meet for dinner along with some other people, but he fell asleep and couldnt make it. the country was half thailand, half russia.

we went out later, because he has a nightly ritual of a drive to canada and back - about an hour. and he has a girlfriend. they always have girlfriends. and i told him i couldn't do anything with him if he had a girlfriend, so we were just going to take the drive. he was so confused and upset and so was i. right before we got into the car to finally spend time alone together, i got email and woke up.

crushes are weird, my current ones are almost all for people i've never seen face to face. some for people whose voices i've never heard. i'm so stir crazy, i need to leave and meet people and see places and just live . . . right now i'm surviving. i'm not living.