giuliana

me too. yick.

hey, sorry about the picture I was going to send to you. I normally know where i put my pictures and now i don't know where they went. as soon as i find them i'll send them to you.

yeah about this girl, I'm pretty much over her, she's a mess. but thanx for the offer on kicking her ass for me! you could kick her ex's ass, that would be cool.

yeah, I know what you mean about moving somewhere where you don't know anyone. I'm pretty anti-social in public, but once you get to know me i'd open up, it seems like you're the same way too. why are you thinking about transfering?

where are you originally from? thats cool about your b/f, I don't know if i could handle being with someone for that long and then have an open relationship.

well, my parents just got back from a little vaction and I had the house to myself all weekend long , and had some friends over and had a little kick back, very relaxing.

when are you normally online, so we can chat in the sg chatroom?

I know. I really need to get my stuff together. I've been having so many problems with my gear lately. It can get pretty stressful! I'll definately let you know when I've got something remotely finished.

where are you?!

Hi, I'm transferring to UCSB one day, maybe I'll see you there.

radiohead? ehh, i'm not a fan, but that show was like 50 bucks up here. eek!

It's funny. My uncle did some work for them this year, and now they're trying not to pay him! Guess, you can't trust anyone these days. Hmmm, guess that's not funny at all.
So tell me what you did there?

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http://suicidegirls.com/media/members/3/30/56303/2171/29444.jpg

Hot showers are great; I'll just have to remember to take my clothes off next time!
I know what you mean about being paranoid. I'm trying to get over that. But I have a lot problems with anxiety anyway, which is another reason my doctor suggested it.
I've been kind of bored lately, which makes me think I need more hobbies.

family genes dictate so. my sisters had certain issues. so i get screened for those issue. because of that i won't get those issues. never been put out before. it was cool. i highly recommend it

i tried walking in anothers shoes once. i deconstructed who i was and carefully and agonisingly rebuilt my id from observences, writings, conversations, scents, impulses, and a little bit of guess work.

and then i was them. i saw their world and their beliefs and knew everything there was to know about them. i was stunned and awed by my own cleverness and taken by the beauty of a mind that can let me do this thing. i set out and tried it again and again, many times seeing new worlds, many times being new people, and always it got easier.

i don't do it anymore. one day i awoke and realized could not remember who i had been at the beginning. it is easy for me to see anothers world, but i have paid the price of not being able to see my own for it. i would give much to find that which i have lost.

i suppose the lesson is that we do not need to have others recognize us for us in order to be who we are. our uniqueness is what makes us wonderful and pretty and strong. we do not need the rest of the universe to admit that we exist, we must need only know that we are we and always shall be we.

share who you are and what you know and what you perceive with everyone you meet, but remember that your lonliness is a sign of your individuality and cherish it for what it is.

[Edited on Sep 17, 2003]

many people seem to request that and i unfortunately cannot oblige. i have a mild fear of camera's and mirrors, for what looks back out from that reflective eye is not the me i know. beware the people who live in mirrors for there is malice in their smiles and lies behind their eyes.

that said, perhaps someday i will move further into this modern world and find a digital medium with which to present myself. in the meanwhile, picture an albino hairless rat about the size of a twelve year old boy dying of starvation. add a fringe of ragged, falling out brown hair to his head and leprosy to his pale flaking flesh and you will have a pretty close approximation to how i appear.

i really wish i was exaggerating that. the gods saw fit to give me the gift of words and madness, not the beauty of the flesh or the confidence of the hero.

Unfortunately I lost most of my old recordings when I moved to Oregon. However, when I'm finished with this new project I'll definately send you a copy.

"seeeexxxxx, oh seeeexxxx!"

dude, there aren't that many cool people in portland... we are all a buncha lame-asses. really. its very sad.

you girls are lucky to have such friends as mr. Pink. Us guys have to constantly deal with rosy palms and her 5 sisters.

he he he... i should invest in a mr. pink.

I'm sure you'll pull through.
What makes something beautiful is when it's so beautiful that beauty bursts out from the seems, and we are flooded with beautiful stuff until our littlr lungs burst from all the beauty we inhaled. Or it could just be something pretty.