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gitsy

Member Since 2006

Followers 82 Following 24

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Monday Dec 11, 2006

Dec 11, 2006
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What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way, What a wicked thing to do. To make me dream of you

I have stopped taking my anti depressants for a variety of reasons that I don't really feel the need to go into. Overall I've been pleased with what's happened to me. David noted i was a much better drunk- less clingy, manic and confused. I've been more active mentally speaking which is also good, hopefully I can start accomplishing things again.
On the downside I've been having nightmares awfully but I know this is connected to my need to mentally deal with an old part of my life that I've never been able to confront or discuss with anyone properly. I suppose because the only people who know the story of that relationship from start to finish, and they don't know the essentials. My mother feels sorry for him for being alone, for fucks sake. Bless her. Of course if they knew the truth my mother would have a breakdown and my father would be culpable for murder. When term starts I'm going to see the uni counselor about it again.
Nightmares are nightmares, I know it's never going to happen again so I can take great comfort in that and I suppose I should be proud of myself for not staying and for rediscovering the world through my own eyes, away from day to day terror inflicted by someone who claimed to be in love with me. And who i thought i was in love with.What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way. What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
suziefnsunshine:
I have taken EVERYTHING there is to take at some point. Mostly pertaining to an eating disorder pertaining to a control issue pertaining to a dependency issue blah blah blah.

I have been successfully off them ALL for over a year. During that year I went the other way and had an anger management problem. I finally have a bit of a handle on that one, as I haven't kicked anyone's ass in quite awhile (well, not physically).

I had a rough night before Christmas this year and went totally numb. I could have quite possibly handled it....poorly...and maybe I did...but it passed and one day in months...I'm fucking entitled.

I hope you are doing well when you read this and that you only go up from there. Hang in there.

Kiss.
Jan 2, 2007
dokmh:
He is due into the shop tomorrow sometime.
I shall beat a good bit of appreciation into him when he walks in.
If that still doesn't work I'll take him into the workshop and beat him with all the broken bottles in there!
Jan 8, 2007

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